death fair?

So, let's imagine that I learn from experience and I emerge a mindful,
compassionate man. 
How can that fix the wrongs done? And the rights not done? How can
that erase the guilt? How can that make the dead happy? Are the dead
dead?
Where is redemption?
Is she happy?
That would be redeemption enough for me. Otherwise I helped (greatly)
to make her short life much less happy than it should have and could
have and WOULD have been, if not for my stupidity.
So, that may be one of the reasons death may have been invented. To
give the despicably hopeless, me in this case, a chance to start over
without the broken, unfixable vehicle. A door.
HOWEVER, hat was not the reason she died. I shudder to think why. To
get away from me? Not a random cancer. Is anything random? Isn't
everything random? We get to name what is and what isn't random, up to
the point of our understanding and proclaim them SO! So? Who says?
Is she happy now? That's all that matters.
I don't come here often. If you really think you have an answer,
please email me. Thanks. 
[EMAIL PROTECTED] 


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