Re: Erroll is like a sliver...............

"Mark" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote in message
news:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Reading these little quirps by Erroll is like sitting on a seat full of
> splinters. You first thing you notice is the pain in your butt. The second
> is the difficulty you have at trying to get rid of it. The third is the
> festering caused by it the longer it stays around.

A doctor writes: -

We are genuinely sorry and concerned that you have and have had for some
time, painful and festering buttocks.  I am told there is no worse condition
known to A Onion science other than a septic head or a Stage XII.  Are you a
BIGS?  I ask, because, for some strange reason, this condition is most
prevalent and painful amongst that tribe, though not unknown among others.
Some believe it has reached epidemic proportions which might explain why so
many BIGS only achieve relief by standing up to give interminable talks to
the faithful.  The faithful, of course, aren't there anymore.

Suffering, as they do, from the same condition, it is of course most painful
and, in more than one way, to sit and listen to some boring old fart, whose
primary aim is achieving relief for his festered buttocks.  So the
unfaithful, for the first time in ecclestiastical history, have, rather than
continue to endure, voted with their asses and removed themselves from the
source of irritation and infection.

There are many strains of this condition and identified examples abound,
Juanitis (still about but much less aggressive), Freethoughtitis (now felt
to be extinct), Glaysheritis (for which there is no treatment) etc.  The
recommended treatment for these was Maneckium, even though there were no
observed palliative effects.  Erroriumitis is a recently identified
sub-strain which mutated from a specific vaccine, Errorium, developed by the
AO.  The vaccine was however totally ineffectual whilst the mutant form has
irritant qualities at most.  Symptoms can be alleviated with copious doses
of Maneckium.

Reaperitis has been (and continues to be) the most virulent of the modern
strains, is a known antidote to Erroriumitis and has defied all prior
attempts to control it, especially with Maneckium, including the recent
introduction of Janisium, which has simply betrayed its origins in and
similarities to Valium.  Some, apparently acquired, immunity to Reaperism
has been reported, possibly linked to its ability to counteract the effects
of Erroriumitis.  However, just as this was reported, a seeming co-strain
emerged in the form of Roditis, which has defied all attempts by Maneckium
and Janisium to control it. The former was so ineffective that it has been
withdrawn and the latter is slowly wheezing to a standstill. Whilst prior
strains were reported as splinters, apparently applying a Rod to the
buttocks leaves dirty, great big and utterly painful weals.

Have you consulted a doctor?  There's a lot of that about, as well,
especially in BIGSland.