Re: To each their own. was: Re: Perhaps Cele has a crush on Sky? was: Re: NEIL---SOC.MEN take note MORE RAPE TALK ON THE NEIL ARTHUR

On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 12:25:20 +0000, Daran <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
wrote:

>On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 05:53:06 GMT Cele
><[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote in message
><[EMAIL PROTECTED]>...
>
>> On Thu, 20 Nov 2003 15:22:20 +0100, "David Lee Kollberg"
>> <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>> 
>>>"DEDHeather94" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote in message
>>>news:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>> Daran can certainly speak for himself, but I don't see him as a
>> games-player in this matter. Daran is exploring Ellen's capacity and
>> intent to contribute here. He has that right, and I'm grateful to him for
>> it, because his discussions with her allow me to assess her contributions
>> without the trouble of eliciting them. This is especially useful given
>> that she's taken up personally with me. You, on the other hand, are a
>> known poster, and Daran is treating you as he treats all of us, and
>> challenging you on behaviours with which he disagrees.
>
>I sincerely believe you've never given me cause to challenge your behaviour,
>Cele.  You have an unblemished record in that respect.  I'm not sure that
>anyone else has met that standard, Ann maybe, I don't recall.  Baba stands
>at about 99.9%.  I doubt I make it past the mid nineties.

Wow. Thankyou. Maybe I'd better not meet you in person - I might not
live up to that! [g] Seriously. Thank you.

>You are correct to distinguish between my treatment of known, vs. new
>posters, the latter whom I go to great lengths to understand and communicate
>with.  With the former, I already know the score in those respects.

Yeah. After exploration, it's familiar territory, and it's only
changes in the landscape that you notice.

>> I think Daran honestly feels you are behaving like a troll.
>
>With respect to his short rejoiners to Ellen, I'd say it was blatent
>trolling.  

I'd agree.

>With you, I don't know what to think.  To an extent, I'm treating
>him a bit like a new poster, because he seems very different from the David
>of two days ago.

Yes. That's why I really am sort of setting it on a shelf in my mind
for now. 

About six years ago, a woman whom I thought of as a very close friend
lost her husband to cancer. From diagnosis to death was almost exactly
a year. I used to play cards with them and have dinner at their house
and it was actually her who got me into the tech world and computers.

After he died, two other close friends and I pooled our very limited
resources to buy her a ticket to come up to see us in the North, where
we had all moved except her. She was really delighted and she came and
stayed at my house. It was about two weeks after his death.

While she was there, she suddenly ....changed. She became incredibly
difficult, and very unreasonable. She didn't seem to see any
perspective but her own, and she was very, very angry, without
apparent direct cause, much of the time. We tried to treat her out to
dinner, and she got so angry at the waiter for virtually no reason,
that it was terribly embarassing for the rest of us. We had taken her
to a Moroccan restaurant, because her husband had been Moroccan and
the dinner was to be in his honour. But I guess the food had been
westernised some, and this upset her terribly.

The whole visit ended with her getting angry and going home early. She
subsequently emailed me quite a snide thankyou for the tickets, and I
responded mildly. I never heard from her again. I was quite hurt by
her behaviour and didn't, at that time, know what to think. All of
this took place about a year or so before my sister's death.

I understand it all so much better now. She wasn't angry at us. She
wasn't angry at the waiter. She was angry because it was Moroccan food
and her wonderful husband wasn't there to eat it with her, to reflect
on its westernisation, to share her life. She was angry and we were
handy and we were close enough friends to maybe have seen her through.
Had we all still lived in the same town, I think it would have played
that way, but when she left, there was no natural repair, and the
relationships foundered. 

David's anger and behaviour of late looks a lot like that, to me. So
I'm not going to give very much response. A bit, I think, but not
much. Sometimes, it's like there's just too much anger and hurt and it
just erupts onto bystanders. We know David has been hurting, and we
know some of the cause. So I think maybe the thing is to cut him the
slack I'd want to be cut, if it was me.

>> I don't think you're deliberately trolling, but I personally feel trolled
>> by you today, nonetheless.
>
>I share that feeling.
>
>> Cele

Cele