Rummy wins Foot-In-Mouth Award

http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,1097856,00.html

Rumsfeld's unknown unknowns take prize

John Ezard
Tuesday December 2, 2003
The Guardian

The new governor of California came within a hair of victory with his
observation "Gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a
woman."

A Tory party ex-chairman got close by noting "Having committed political
suicide, the Conservative party is now living to regret it."

But Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chris Patten were beaten to the punch
yesterday. The award for most baffling remark by a public figure went to an
old master of obfuscation, Donald Rumsfeld.

The US defence secretary scooped the Plain English Campaign's premier Foot
In Mouth trophy for his 62-word attempt to clarify a point to a defence
department meeting: "Reports that say that something hasn't happened are
always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there
are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is
to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also
unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know".

"We think we know what he means", said John Lister, a Plain English campaign
spokesman, "but we don't know if we really know".

Previous winners include the actor Richard Gere and the artist Tracey Emin.

The campaign was set up in 1979 to combat official jargon, circumlocution
and muddling information. It has worked with, and provided training for,
more than 1,000 private and governmental organisations, including two-thirds
of Britain's local authorities.

One of this year's Golden Bull awards for unclear English has uncovered a
man who is an unrepentant master of mixed metaphors.

Yousef El-Deiry, UK airports manager for the charter airline JMC, writing in
the airline magazine, noted that late summer was "historically characterised
by pre-maturity, both in terms of psychological wind-down and shedding of
temporary staff.

"The irony is that it is in the latter stages of a race or championship that
fortunes are made or lost, and where heroes are born or die, and we should
be in no doubt that 'it ain't over until the fat lady sings'", he went on.

"The approach, which I wish to advocate to all our ground team, is to look
at the last third of the season as a 'light at the end of the tunnel', the
long sought-after jewel in the crown, remaining resolute to sprint to
victory."

News that he had won a Golden Bull award prompted Mr El-Deiry to even
fuller-throated eloquence: "I was told the cliches in my article were as
plain as the nose on my face, but it all looked like Queen's English to me.

"Besides, what's a little cliche amongst colleagues?There is truth in every
cliche: worse things happen at sea, when it rains it pours - and even a
blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while."



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"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so
long as I'm the dictator." - GW Bush 12/18/2000.

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that
we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic
and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
---Theodore Roosevelt

"I think all foreigners should stop interfering in the internal affairs of
Iraq."
-- Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz,