SPEAC and the primate prison

(see http://www.primateprison.org)
    I've long been an opponent of the various animal "testing"
facilities around Cambridge, and especially the horrific primate
facility due to be built, since I became a student at the university
just over two years ago. I've been excited to witness the increasing
tempo of SPEAC's demonstrations in and around Cambridge recently;
we've had about three in the last term, including one only just today.
With what I've seen, from my perspective as somebody inside the
university who's seen the reactions to each protest firsthand, I think
I should probably offer a few tips to greater benefit future
protestors. I'm glad to do anything I can to help stop the massacre
going on under our noses.


Getting support
---------------

As the building of this torture camp depends on the support of the
University, it is imperative that we win over the support and goodwill
of those with influence so they can bring it down from the inside.

    * Phone in bomb threats anonymously. The massive disruption to
everyday university life will make people respect your organisation
and the bravery you displayed in your phone call. It will draw up
parallels with well respected freedom fighters such as the Irish
Republican Army.
    * Send masses of protest e-mails to an arbitrary department.
          o Make sure that not a moment goes by where a staff member
does not hear about the evil going on in their university. Remember,
the more times somebody sees your point of view, the more convinced
they will be that it is right. One e-mail per person per minute should
do it fine.
          o Be sure to call them murderers, and threaten to hold them
personally responsible. The righteousness of your illiterate impotent
fury will raise in them a deep and true guilt.
          o Target people who know a lot about the technical details
of e-mail. Then they will see the great lengths you have gone to, such
as changing your From: address, and respect you all the more as this
baffles them beyond ability to track you down.
    * Attack people who refuse to take your leaflets at protests, and
tell them to "burn in hell".


Other tips and tricks
---------------------

    * Whatever you do, do not get a job. It's important to focus all
your energy on freeing these poor cute monkeys. A job will waste your
time, and will only serve to bolster the fabric of the corrupt
capitalist society we are all fighting against.
    * Sign up to the dole. The dole will be more than adequate to
support transport to protests, time in a 'net cafe sending concealed
e-mails, and your well entrenched drug habit.
    * Do not read any scientific literature. This will brainwash you
and convince you that maybe science is a good idea. Knowledge is a
tool of the Man and should be avoided. If you're educated beyond GCSE
level, you will not be welcome in our crusade.

Hope this helps,

RT