Christianese Spoken Here

 CHRISTIANESE SPOKEN HERE
By Newton Joseph
Christians of all denominations speak a special language called
Christianese. In order to understand Christianese it has to be taught to
children at a very early age. After about the age of 16 most children have
mastered Christianese and are able read and speak in Christianese when they
are adults. Some can become so proficient in Christianese they can write in
Christianese.Christianese has become very popular nowadays. Pat Robertson
and his carbon copy son are fluent in Christianese. In fact they have become
very popular with television audiences because they speak some of the best
Christianese.
There seems to be prejudice towards all those who are not fluent in
Christianse. If you don’t speak in Christianese and you speak with someone
who does can cause severe headaches. The hoi polloi likes to impress others
with their mastery of Christianese. In fact many Christians try to speak
more Christianese than their neighbor. All Christians are self
congratulatory when they speak Christianese with the "in" dialect
Ex-president Bush and his namesake son who said "those who do not speak
Christianese should not be considered as good citizens". Politicians speak
their best Christianese in front of an audience. Politicians who have not
mastered Christianese it is a good bet that they would be defeated by one
who is fluent in Christianese.Each politician try's to speak more
Christianses with the dialect that is the most popular. All politicians try
to speak better Christianese then their rivals.
There are 500 different dialects of Christianese and the proponents of each
claim only they speak the correct Christianese.