Re: question about friend.. what should i do?

xrainx wrote:
> 
> Hi, I decided to join this forum because I have a few questions. A
> very close friend of mine lost her boyfriend a year ago- he was
> murdered during a robbery of the store he worked at.

Eek!

> dont want to see anyone getting hurt again.. and Im just wondering if
> its a phase she is going through, because I've known her for almost
> 4yrs and am just very surprised to find her dating a woman.

It could be that she's mixed up because of her sadness.  It could be
that she actually is bi.  You are surprised to find her dating a
woman because you never saw her date a woman before.  The fact that
you are surprised does not provide any evidence one way or another.
There is no way to know at this point, so you should just support her
through whatever she needs to do.

> She did
> say to me that she can't be with a man now, because they all will
> remind her of her deceased boyfriend.. and that she will always be
> looking for him.. and comparing them to him.. and they aren't him.

Sounds like she's still mourning for him.  She's not too likely
to have a successful romantic relationship with anyone at this point,
but trying to stop her would probably do more harm than good.  Some
people find it helpful to start dating while still mourning, and
while probably nothing serious will come of it she may recover sooner
for it.

David