Re: Coming out (was Re: new to group)

"Personal Electroencephalogram" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote in message
news:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> "Ruth Lawrence" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>, in article
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>, dixit:
> >Almost.  Posts and remarks like this cumulatively
> >reduce my interest in working for or with those not
> >low incomes, even if they are queer.
>
> You'd get a lot fewer of these posts if you stuck to your substantive
> point:
>
> >*I* don't propose to originate more
> >community building.
>
> >I'm sick and I'm poor and I've done
> >far, far, far, more than most people
> >even imagine doing by way of community
> >work, political and social.
>
> >I'll support it, and I'll probably come, but
> >I am most unlikely to do more than J
> >Random Social Queer, all without feeling a
> >soupcon of guilt.
>
> That's your point.  And it's a wholly legitimate one.

I'm glad to hear it.

> Your other points aren't so legitimate, which is why people are
> arguing with you about them.

I think some of  them are, but am aware
there won't be agreement.

FWIW I tend to ramble when I've stopped
sitting on my hands but am refraining
from typing what I'm saying (Bad
Foreign Phrases and general ranting,
please pass the soap.)

> I helped form a poly group in NJ.  While we were getting started, and
> looking for a good meeting place, we met in restaurants, over dinner.
> Not satisfactory, although folks could have just a drink, or an
> appetizer.

Yup.  It's better than *nothing*,
but it's a lousy fallback IMO.

(Note: I would have had nothing at those places).

> The group leader kept looking, and we ended up in the back room of a
> coffee house which did live music on the weekends, but was uncrowded
> on weeknights.  No fee, and as long as someone bought something, the
> owner was perfectly happy for us to hang out there as long as we
> wanted.  Free newspapers, radical flyers, cheap coffee.

Hon, there's nowhere like that near me, never
has  been.  A person would even have to find
money for a room in the !#$% Community
House these days, *if* the committtee would
release one.(They're into having craft classes,
which was So Not the original charter, actually,
but there ya go).

It's the User Pays schtick.

So outside of students using their facilties,
one really is looking at ongoing money
raising.  Not much, but it's damn hard
to get that first start-up amount, *and*
the people who will work to get more.

It isn't impossible though.

> Rideshares for those who couldn't get there easily.

Sometimes this just can't be managed
here.  Greater Melbourne covers
a really, really big area. My own locality
has shit-awful public transport.  I'm
miles from the bus route myself.

It's true that folks sometimes can organise
this *once they've found the people*.

> Cheap noodles
> across the street, that we could bring into the coffee house.

Still too dear for folks on welfare here, if we're
talking an ongoing commitment.  'Cheap' noodles
here just aren't.  It'd require a lot of cheek to
take other food somewhere commercial, too.
Isn't Done.

I know some of the folks affected would feel very
disrespected.  I've heard people saying they felt mocked
and/or unwanted., and so on and so forth, when the
usual venue was somewhere commercial, or when
they were asked for donations.

It's maybe ok once or twice, but some
folks are being asked stuff that others
just don't have to deal with.  I greatly
dislike going anywhere that, especially
as sensitivity  to this *particular* issue is
widely expected, even in apolitical thingies.

I'm far from alone in this view.

> How do I know it was comfortable for the broke?  'Cause I was one of
> them.  I couldn't afford coffee, or dessert, or dinner, or gas money
> or train fare to get there.  But I could enjoy the discussion and the
> companionship and the free papers and the occasional bite of someone
> else's dessert.  Community.

I've been in the same position, and in fact remain
there permanently.  I didn't and don't feel quite
in the thick of things in such a situation, but I'm
not particularly upset by that myself.

I would never expect others to be OK with it,
because some have made it plain they are not,
and I respect their reasons and their feelings,
and believe they are valid.

One-issue community organisation is problematic
for me, then.

:::shrug:::

I know it.

r yes, negative surly rants are me right now l