Re: Coming out of the Crossdresser's closet

"L D Blake" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote in message
news:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> On Wed, 3 Dec 2003 00:21:56 +0000 (UTC), "Rikki Ward"
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> wrote:
> >Laura, on the other hand you seem to be saying that there is no problem
with
> >being Transgendered.
>
> There isn't... you don't get sick and you don't die and it isn't hurting
> anyone... how can it possibly be a problem?  If you are able to relax into
it
> the whole thing very quickly becomes a non-issue.  And even for those who
find
> it distressing, most often the problem is *transphobia* internalized and
> self-applied, that causes all the problems.  It is the failure to accept
> oneself that causes the distress, not the transgender identity.
>
> The real need here is to separate issues and be sure we are dealing with
the
> right things...  If we take someone who's all bent out of shape over being
> transgendered and then go off treating transgender identity as the source
of
> the problem,

Possibly not the source so much as a symptom.  If you can tell horrific
stories of childhood abuse, that becomes more likely, and that abuse should
be addressed.

not only do we misidentify the problem  we run the risk of
> exacerbating the real problems of self-rejection, Internalized
Transphobia,
> etc. by further convincing the individual they are all screwed up.

The person often walks into the office because they think they are all
screwed up.
>
> Once again... the mistake is treating a non-symptomatic state of existence
as
> a problem when in fact the real problems lie in a belief structure
accumulated
> from the society around us.  People don't feel like shit because they are
> transgendered... they feel like shit because they are taught to feel like
> shit.
>
>
> >From personal experience I know there is.
> > ...
> >During depression
> >brought about by lack of self-esteem (after a divorce and its fallout)
> >counselling helped me go to my first Crossdresing Support group meeting,
> >then become more confident in myself, so should not be discounted because
of
> >your experience.
>
> So you are attributing a depression brought on by divorce to your
transgender
> identity?  Ummm... methinks that one needs a little more thought, hon.

If he's hon and I'm sugar, is transgender the only issue?
>
> I know counselors who do a wonderful job of helping people with some god
awful
> problems... I've seen people on the brink of self-termination brought back
to
> a happy life by good shrinks.  It is only on this one issue, the
transgender
> one, where I believe they don't know their asses from a hole in the
ground.
> Gene's obvious misunderstanding is a prime example and there are thousands
> more just like him floating around out there.
>
> ----- 
>
> Laura