Re: "Shizukana Kohan"

Subject: "Shizukana Kohan"
From: "B. Ito" [EMAIL PROTECTED] 
Date: 2003-12-03 03:43 Eastern Standard Time

> $B$7$:$+$J8PHJ(B

Why is "shizuka" in kana?  [EMAIL PROTECTED](B is Jouyou; there are no 
alternate kanji; [EMAIL PROTECTED](B does not have any alternate 
pronunciation; there is no play on words possible.  It seems 
pointless to me.  


> $B:n;l<T!'IT>\(B Sakusha fushou (anonymous)
Sakushisha


[EMAIL PROTECTED](B
Shizukana Kohan
> At a Silent Lakeside No. 268
[EMAIL PROTECTED](B
Shizukana kohan no
> Here's a quiet lakeside,

The title says "silent," but the first line says "quiet."  
They should match, shouldn't they?  At any rate, "quiet" is
better.  (Probably--although "silent night, holy night" 
sounds pretty good.)  


$B%+%C%3!<$,LD$/(B
Kakkou ga naku
$BLD$/$U$/$m$&(B
Naku fukurou

Why is the owl in hiragana while the cuckoo is in katakana?  


(1)
> Here's a quiet lakeside,
> From somewhere in the woods,
> "It's time you got up.",
> Calls me a cuckoo.

> "It's time you got up.",
Too much punctuation.  Using American style, that would be
    "It's time you got up," calls the cuckoo.
Ditto > "It's time you went to bed.", 

Your vocal version sounds like
"Calls me on a cuckoo."
like, "She calls me on the phone."  

Your "calls me an owl" line is also garbled.  
It sounds like "Because we're on hour."  
(That's music to a software contractor's ears.)  

Hotel guest:  "Doorman, please call me a taxi."  
Doorman:  "Okay.  You're a taxi."  

With "call," you'll need a "to."  E.g., 
    A cuckoo calls to me
likewise,
    An owl calls to me

> Here's a quiet lakeside,
> From somewhere in the woods,
> "It's time you got up.",
> Calls [to] me a cuckoo.

This is possible in prose.  Or, rather, it would be possible
if it were correctly punctuated.  
    Here's a quiet lakeside.  From somewhere in the 
    woods, a cuckoo calls to me, "It's time you got up." 
But there is a strong tendency for a listener to link the 
lines of a lyric two by two.  That tendency will make your
verse sound like a broken English version of
    Here's a quiet lakeside somwhere in the woods.  
You might say
    From a quiet lakeside
    Somewhere in the woods    


$BLD$/[f(B
Naku fukurou
$B%[%C%[!<!!%[%C%[!<%[%C%[!<!!%[%C%[!<!!%[%C%[!<(B
Hohho hohho hohho hohho hohho

> Calls [to] me an owl,
> "Hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot."

Although we say that an owl hoots, and although there is a
bird called a Hoot Owl, the actual reported sound is 
ususally rendered as "whoo."  Cf. "to whit to whoo."
Your "hoot, hoot, etc." sounds like "toot, toot, toot."  
There is
    The ole hootie owl
    Hootie-hoo's to the dove
    Tammy! Tammy!
    Tammy's in love!
but I can't recommend "hootie-hoo" very strongly.


$B309q6J(B Gaikoku kyoku
The tune is described as "foreign tune."  As a foreigner, 
I suppose I should recognize it--but I don't.  It sounds
a lot like the "The Itsy Bitsy Spider," but the lyrical 
rhythm is quite different.  
http://home.pacbell.net/penhallo/spider.htm

>From your version and the midi only version at
http://wagesa.cool.ne.jp/music/jojoh/jojoh-frame.html 
it appears that the rhythm is

    One and Two and Three and Four, and 
    One and Two and Three and Four 
    One and Two and Three and Four, and 
    One and Two and Three 

Here's another possibility, which is consistent--provided
that you accept "owl" as a two syllable word! 

    From the shadow of a wood
    Beside a quiet peaceful lake
    Cuckoo calls to me and says,
    "It's time for you to wake."  
    Cuckoo, cuckoo
    Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo


    Time to stop my chattering;
    The shadows now are growing deep.
    Owl calls to me and says,
    "It's time for you to sleep."  
    To-whoo, to-whoo
    To-whit, to-whit, to-whoo
    


Ross
Roebuck, South Carolina
http://community.webshots.com/user/ross_klatte
http://www.geocities.com/sparklecitysue/
http://www.savethescv.org/NC%20Division.htm