[HUMOUR] TF rewrites of Beatles songs

I got bored during the last couple of weeks, so I decided to rewrite
some Beatles songs with a Transformers theme. These mainly concern the
rather excellent NTFA comics store, run by Lars "Groundsplitter"
Eriksson.

Here they are:

"All you need is Lars" (sung to the tone of "All you need is love")
===================================================================
Lars, Lars, Lars, Lars, Lars, Lars, Lars, Lars, Lars.
There's nothing you can buy that can't be bought.
Nothing you can read that can't be read.
Nothing you can say but you can learn to use the store
It's easy.
There's nothing you can pay that can't be paid.
No one you can mail that can't be mailed.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to wait for weeks
It's easy.
All you need is Lars, all you need is Lars,
All you need is Lars, Lars, Lars is all you need. 


"Buy comics" (sung to the tone of "Let it be")
==============================================
When I find myself in times of boredom
Lars Eriksson comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom: Buy comics.
And after weeks of waiting
They have arrived in the mail for me
Speaking words of wisdom: Read us, please.
Buy comics, read comics.
Buy comics, read comics.
Whisper words of wisdom: Buy comics.
And as the Transformers fandom
Living in the world agrees,
There will be an answer: Buy comics.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a fact that they can see
There will be an answer: Buy comics.
Buy comics, read comics.
Buy comics, read comics.
Yeah there will be an answer: Buy comics.
Buy comics, read comics.
Buy comics, read comics.
Whisper words of wisdom: Buy comics.
Buy comics, read comics.
Buy comics, read comics.
Whisper words of wisdom: Buy comics.
And when my days are boring,
There is still something for me to do,
Read a lot of comics, then read more.
I wake up to the sound of new mail
Lars Eriksson comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom: Buy comics.
Buy comics, read comics.
Buy comics, read comics.
And there will be an answer: Buy comics.
Buy comics, read comics.
Buy comics, read comics.
And there will be an answer: Buy comics.
Buy comics, read comics.
Buy comics, read comics.
Whisper words of wisdom: Buy comics. 


"Eriksson and his web-based comics shop" (sung to the tone of "Sergeant
Pepper's lonely hearts club band")
=======================================================================
It was twenty months ago today
We could shop at N T F A
We've been paying every now and then
And the shipments have come to us
So may I introduce to you
The man you've known for all these years,
Eriksson and his web-based comics shop.
It's Eriksson and his web-based comics shop,
With lots of new stuff to read,
It's Eriksson and his web-based comics shop,
Sit back with a comic or two.
Eriksson and his web-based, Eriksson and his web-based,
Eriksson and his web-based comics shop.
It's wonderful to be here,
It's certainly a thrill.
We're such a lovely audience
He likes to sell comics to us,
He loves to sell comics.
I don't really want to pay too much
So it's a good thing that the prices such
As those in the comics shop
Are the cheapest in all of Europe.
So let me introduce to you
The one and only Lars the Swede
Who's Eriksson and his web-based comics shop.
It's Eriksson and his web-based comics shop
We hope you have enjoyed his wares
Eriksson and his web-based comics shop
Though there can be a few delays.
Eriksson and his web-based,
Eriksson and his web-based,
Eriksson and his web-based,
Eriksson and his web-based,
Eriksson and his web-based comics shop.
We'd like to thank him once again,
Eriksson and his one and only web-based comics shop.
It's getting very near the end,
Eriksson and his web-based,
Eriksson and his web-based,
Eriksson and his web-based comics shop. 


"Lars" (sung to the tone of "Help")
===================================
Lars! He lives in Sweden,
Lars! He likes Transformers,
Lars! He'll always give anyone help.
When I was younger, so much younger than today,
The local stores had lots of comics to help me on my way,
But now these days are gone, no more comics left to buy,
Now I have had to look elsewhere, I've searched the Internet
Lars is there for you if you're feeling down,
And I do appreciate him being around,
Lars got TF comics back in my mail,
I owe him a big, big thank you.
And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
I have a stream of comics coming in my mail,
And ev'ry now and then a new series starts from scratch,
I know that I just have to send Lars cash, like I've also done before.
Lars is there for you if you're feeling down,
And I do appreciate him being around,
Lars got TF comics back in my mail,
I owe him a big, big thank you.
When I am older, so much older than today,
I'll always have Lars there to help me on my way.
Until the day has come, when Dreamwave closes down,
But then I'll still have all my stuff, I've ordered them from Lars.
Lars is there for you if you're feeling down,
And I do appreciate him being around,
Lars got TF comics back in my mail,
I owe him a big, big thank you, thank you, thank you, oh. 


"Lars will go send them" (sung to the tone of "I am the walrus")
================================================================
I'm a Finn and you're a Swede and he's a Dane and we are all together
Generation 1, Armada too, there's comics, I'm reading
Sitting on your doorstep, waiting for the mail to come
Latest daily junkmail, throw it in the trashcan
Man, it's been a long wait, it's all worthwhile
I'll get the comics, you'll get the comics
Lars will go send them, goo goo g'joob
Mister Lars Eriksson, with his pretty little webshop for us all
Fill in the form, and send your order off, that's how it works
I'm reading, you're reading
I'm happy, you're happy
Comics wrapped in plastic, to ensure no stains
Simon Furman Wildman, comics fan scene heroes
Lars, you've been a great bloke, you've helped us all
I'll get the comics, you'll get the comics
Lars will go send them, goo goo g'joob
Sitting in the Nordic winter waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come, at least you get to have fun with Transformers
I'll get the comics, you'll get the comics
Lars will go send them, goo goo g'joob
Autobots are fighting, Decepticons are fighting back
See how they fight on Earth and beyond, it will never end, I'm reading
Cybertron's a mess, having gone through years of war
We need hippie robots, singing Hare Krishna, yes we need them quick
But all robots are in war
I'll get the comics, you'll get the comics
Lars will go send them, joo goo g'joob goo goo g'joob
Goo goo g'joooob 


"NTFA comics store" (sung to the tone of "Yellow submarine")
============================================================
In the country next to mine
Lived a man who sold comics
And he told us of his life
In the land of Transformers.
So we surfed to his web site
Till we found the order form
And we sent him our money
To the NTFA comics store.
We all know of the NTFA comics store,
NTFA comics store, NTFA comics store.
We're in love with the NTFA comics store,
NTFA comics store, NTFA comics store.
And our friends bought some too
Many more of them live next door
And the shipment's coming in.
Spend your cash at the NTFA comics store,
NTFA comics store, NTFA comics store.
Have a blast at the NTFA comics store,
NTFA comics store, NTFA comics store.
As we live a life of ease
Everyone of us has all we need
Originals and Armada
In the NTFA comics store.
We all know of the NTFA comics store,
NTFA comics store, NTFA comics store.
We're in love with the NTFA comics store,
NTFA comics store, NTFA comics store.
Spend your cash at the NTFA comics store,
NTFA comics store, NTFA comics store.
Have a blast at the NTFA comics store,
NTFA comics store, NTFA comics store.
Party on at the NTFA comics store,
NTFA comics store, NTFA comics store.
Drinks are free at the NTFA comics store,
NTFA comics store, NTFA comics store.
Love, not war, at the NTFA comics store,
NTFA comics store, NTFA comics store.
All we need is the NTFA comics store,
NTFA comics store, NTFA comics store. 


"Robots in disguise with diamonds" (sung to the tone of "Lucy in the sky
with
diamonds")
=============================================================================

Picture yourself in Sweden or Finland
With shelfwarmer toys and poorly-dubbed shows
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A man with a web-based shop.
Mountainous piles of new comics,
Towering over your head.
Fill in the form in the NTFA webshop
And you're in.
Robots in the sky with diamonds,
Robots in disguise with diamonds.
Follow him down to American comics
Where Transformer robots have miraculous fights,
Decepticons conquer as they drift past the planets
That are so incredibly big.
Autobot robots appear on the shore,
Waiting to blast them away.
Pay for these comics with your head in the clouds,
And you're in.
Robots in the sky with diamonds,
Robots in disguise with diamonds.
Picture yourself on your doorstep at morning
With newspaper piles and lots of junk mail,
Suddenly something is there that was sent by
The man with the web-based shop. 


"Through his web-based shop" (sung to the tone of "When I'm 64")
================================================================
When I get richer, with lots of cash,
Many years from now,
I'll be spending most of it on Transformers,
With the help of N T F A.
There will be lots of comics to buy,
Most of them G1,
I want to buy them, Lars wants to sell them,
Through his web-based store.
Lars is good for you,
And if you write to him,
He could help you too.
Lars can be handy, selling me stuff,
Brightening up my day.
No one ever grows tired of the Transformers,
With their exciting stories each month.
Fighting for conquest, helping the kids,
Who could ask for more?
I want to buy stuff, Lars wants to sell stuff,
Through his web-based store.
Every summer I'll visit a cottage
In the Finnish countryside, with my comics to read
The time will be flying by
Transformers on my knee,
O.P., Megs & Co.
Send Lars a letter, containing cash,
Paying for your stuff,
Lars will then go through it with the utmost care
Making sure you get what you want.
Give him your order, fill in the form,
It's an easy job.
You want to buy stuff, Lars wants to sell stuff,
Through his web-based shop. 


"Transformers" (sung to the tone of "Nowhere man")
==================================================
We're fond of Transformers,
Autobots, Decepticons,
But the Nordic comics sell
To nobody.
That's where Lars is coming in,
With his web-based comics shop,
Isn't he the best for you and me?
Transformers, keep fighting,
You don't know what you just missed,
Transformers, the world is at your command.
They're blind in their own way,
Just see what is in their world,
Transformers, can you see us at all?
That's where Lars is coming in,
With his web-based comics shop,
Isn't he the best for you and me?
Transformers, don't worry,
Take your time, don't hurry,
Leave it all for somebody else
To sell your comics.
That's where Lars is coming in,
With his web-based comics shop,
For the Nordic comics sell
To nobody. 


"Transformers" (sung to the tone of "Yesterday")
================================================
Transformers, they are so much more than meets the eye,
Toys and comics going everywhere,
Oh, I believe in Transformers.
Suddenly, Nordic comics have been cancelled,
There's a lack of comics over me,
Oh, Eriksson will rescue me.
Now he has a shop, on the web, just a click away.
There I can buy stuff, this and that, for Transformers.
Transformers, they are such a great new universe,
Now I want to have some new comic books,
Oh, I believe in Transformers.
Mm mm mm mm mm. 

-- 
/-- Joona Palaste ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) ------------- Finland --------\
\-- http://www.helsinki.fi/~palaste --------------------- rules! --------/
"A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go into her
office. You'll just be walking down the street and... ohh, that's much better!"
   - Stephen Wright