Re: 7 perfectly legal ways to cheat, you unspirited fuck

One more of my personal favorites to add to this list (from the living
library of Jonny G.). It's pretty much #4 but from a non-thrower
perspective.

4a. If your offense is totally discombobulated, and the stall count is
getting high, run yourself (and your defender) straight through the
stack. Odds are 99% that the defender will call a pick, thus resetting
the stall to 5 and giving your offense a chance to compose itself.

Bonus: For the cheat-master, be sure to contest the pick to give your
team extra time to call a play.

[EMAIL PROTECTED] (Jason) wrote in message news:<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>...
> 1. When marking, count the first stall count, then skip to 10. 
> Fast count, or contested stall, either way, count goes to 8.
> 
> 1a. A more realistic version is to count fast on the first few counts,
> when people aren't paying as much attention, then slow down when it
> gets important. you've shaved a second or two off the stall, and they
> aren't likely to call it.
> 
> 2. When coming up to mark, bump the thrower every time. If they don't
> call the foul, you've just shut down the thrower's fast break. If they
> do call the foul, you reset the count--but ha! it hadn't even
> started--and you've still killed the thrower's fast break.
> 
> 3. When throwing, aim for the defender's hand.  Any hand-to-hand
> contact is a foul on the marker, so hey, free throw.
> 
> 4. When being marked, on a high stall count travel like a
> mutha-fucker.  Travel called, count drops back to stalling 6, and
> you've gotten yourself a couple free seconds.
> 
> 5. Call travels on every huck, especially forehands.  Many guys lift
> their pivot foot when following through, and even if you're wrong,
> they can't contest.
> 
> 6. Remember that no (first) game-winning score is EVER valid.  If you
> don't make your opponents double-score for the victory, you're not
> cheating effectively. Some practiced cheaters can force triple scores
> or more.
> 
> 7. Defending in the stack, always set up behind another defender. 
> This way, if your man cuts in, you call a pick, killing flow.
> 
> 8. Make some bad calls, then retract them.  People will think, "hey,
> he's finally getting good spirit." Idiots.
> 
> 9. Nobody knows how far 10 feet is. Always double team in the cup.
> Even if they call it, they lose 2 seconds while you're backing off.
> 
> I know that's 9 ways, not 7, but what did you expect from a cheating
> fucker?
> 
> Moral for the day? Remember that every team probably has a couple of
> these guys--EVEN YOUR TEAM-- but that most of the people are there to
> play ultimate.  And even if a team has a reputation for being
> assholes, you should make a fresh evaluation every year. Even assholes
> graduate...after 6 or 7 years of playing.
> 
> -Popeye
> #12 UCLA