7 perfectly legal ways to cheat, you unspirited fuck

1. When marking, count the first stall count, then skip to 10. 
Fast count, or contested stall, either way, count goes to 8.

1a. A more realistic version is to count fast on the first few counts,
when people aren't paying as much attention, then slow down when it
gets important. you've shaved a second or two off the stall, and they
aren't likely to call it.

2. When coming up to mark, bump the thrower every time. If they don't
call the foul, you've just shut down the thrower's fast break. If they
do call the foul, you reset the count--but ha! it hadn't even
started--and you've still killed the thrower's fast break.

3. When throwing, aim for the defender's hand.  Any hand-to-hand
contact is a foul on the marker, so hey, free throw.

4. When being marked, on a high stall count travel like a
mutha-fucker.  Travel called, count drops back to stalling 6, and
you've gotten yourself a couple free seconds.

5. Call travels on every huck, especially forehands.  Many guys lift
their pivot foot when following through, and even if you're wrong,
they can't contest.

6. Remember that no (first) game-winning score is EVER valid.  If you
don't make your opponents double-score for the victory, you're not
cheating effectively. Some practiced cheaters can force triple scores
or more.

7. Defending in the stack, always set up behind another defender. 
This way, if your man cuts in, you call a pick, killing flow.

8. Make some bad calls, then retract them.  People will think, "hey,
he's finally getting good spirit." Idiots.

9. Nobody knows how far 10 feet is. Always double team in the cup.
Even if they call it, they lose 2 seconds while you're backing off.

I know that's 9 ways, not 7, but what did you expect from a cheating
fucker?

Moral for the day? Remember that every team probably has a couple of
these guys--EVEN YOUR TEAM-- but that most of the people are there to
play ultimate.  And even if a team has a reputation for being
assholes, you should make a fresh evaluation every year. Even assholes
graduate...after 6 or 7 years of playing.

-Popeye
#12 UCLA