Re: Seattle Marathon

This has got to be one of the funniest marathon reports ever. Thanks!
Jonathan
"Asweepay" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote in message
news:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Here is my race report for the Seattle Marathon. It was written for
> family and friends and that's why I have explained some of the terms
> that I'm sure most of the readers here will already understand.
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
>
> This past Sunday I attempted the Seattle marathon. This was my first
> marathon and in fact my first ever running race. My goal was to run
> the 26.2 miles in 3 hours and 45 minutes. Here in slightly censored
> format is my long and self indulgent race report.
>
> Here is the course map
> http://www.seattlemarathon.org/images/coursemap03.jpg
>
>
> Prologue:
> My alarm wakes my up at 6:30, I do what I do every morning and shut it
> off and go back to sleep until 7:30. At 7:30 I get up, eat a banana
> and a dried fruit bar and slug back a glass of water. I have a nice
> hot shower to warm up the muscles. I get out of the shower feeling
> energized and ready to go. I am staying with my friend John Franke
> (pron. Franky) who conveniently lives 2 blocks from the start of the
> race near the base of the Space Needle. Franke walks me down there and
> I run around looking for safety pins to attach my race number with.
> None to be found, but a volunteer tells me to shove it in my pocket
> since the chip that I am wearing around my ankle will take care of the
> official scoring.
>
> Mile 1:
> After standing around for a while, the race starts at 8:15. I start
> mid packish in the crowd of 2325. It takes a full minute just to cross
> the start line. The first mile is relatively easy through downtown
> Seattle. It's hard to pass anyone at this point anyway. I get stuck
> behind a couple of chubby loud mouths who think it's funny to yell
> "Are we there yet ?" and "How much further" every 5-10 seconds. I am
> wearing my heart rate monitor. Bad decision. For some reason it is
> reading 173 which is insanely high. I get a little freaked out but
> then I decide to ignore it. Additonaly the chest strap keeps slipping
> off and falling down to my waist. This *never* happens. I keep hiking
> it back up and it keeps falling back down. Finally I decide to let it
> fall to my waist and ... ignore it. I'm also having problems with my
> gel flask that I bought the day before. The gel flask holds this
> chocolate flavored energy spooge and comes with a little holster that
> holds the flask and clips onto my shorts. It is bouncing around like
> crazy and bugging the crap out of me. Then it falls off. I turn around
> and pick it up. I will have to hold it in my hand the rest of the
> race.
>
> Mile 2:
> At the first mile marker, I check my watch and my pace band (piece of
> paper I wear on my wrist that has all the times I need to make for
> each mile to finish in 3:45). I'm already 1 minute off pace. I'm ok
> with this since I wanted to start slow anyway. I am treating the first
> 4 miles as a warm up.
>
> Mile 3:
> The first water station. Nobody is stopping for water. Figuring that
> there will be a big line up at the next station I decide to stop for a
> swig. We pass Safeco field and head up the I-90 ramp. This is a slight
> incline and all I can see ahead of me is runners. I look back, same
> thing.
>
> Mile 4-5:
> Not much to report here, except that I am a minute and a half off pace
> and decide that now is the time to start catching up. I skip the water
> station and the bathrooms and pass a lot of people. I can feel a
> blister starting to form on my right foot. I decide to ignore it.
>
> Mile 6:
> We hit the I-90 bridge heading out to Mercer Island. I begin to feel
> some chafing in my nether regions. This *never* happens and I don't
> understand why it is happening now especially only 6 miles into the
> race. I decide to ignore it. The leaders are coming back towards me
> the other way. The pack of 3 looks like 1 contender and 2 pretenders.
> We cheer them on.
>
> Mile 7-8:
> I'm really hitting stride now as we head back the way we came along
> the I-90 bridge. I feel like a million dollars (CAN). I see the portly
> wannabe comedians and they are struggling, already about 2 miles
> behind me. I resist the urge to yell "How much farther ?".
>
> Flashback to 6:30 Saturday evening eating dinner. Frankes girlfriend
> Secil has made me a special order pasta and chicken breast dinner.
> Franke: Eat some more pasta, you gotta run tomorrow.
> Me: I don't wanna eat too much because then I'll have to Deuce.
> Franke: What's a Deuce ?
> Me: Number 2.
>
> Mile 9:
> The Deuce is on. I pass a row of Honey Buckets (porta toilets). There
> is a loooong line up and I'm not big on Honey Buckets so I decide to
> hold my cards as we head south on Lake Washington boulevard.
>
> Mile 10-11:
> Still feeling pretty good I have taken to counting steps
> 1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-1 ...... There is a rolling roadblock of people
> particicpating in the half marthon walk. They are 3 wide on the road
> (and these ladies were w-i-d-e). This pissed me off. Serenity now !!
> The male leader is heading back towards us now, it is not one of the 3
> from before. This time he cheers us on. I am impressed and I hope he
> wins the race (I think he did).
>
> Mile 12:
> Heading into Seward park, I check my split. I am now one minute ahead
> of pace. I think I have time to play the Deuce. Everything works out
> pretty well as we run right by a public bathroom in the park, no honey
> bucket for me !! There is only one person in front of me in the toilet
> line up. I play the Deuce and throw down an Ace as well.
>
> Mile 13:
> Wow, does that feel better. I feel like a great weight has been lifted
> off my kidneys. Somehow I lost 5 minutes in the bathroom, but I'm back
> now and feeling like 2 million dollars (USD).
>
> Mile 13.1
> I do a little jig in my head as I cross the halfway marker. I have to
> make up 3 1/2 minutes in the second half to hit my goal.
>
> Mile 14-17
> I am now heading north back up Lake Washington Boulevard. There is a
> breezy head wind that is making my fingers very cold. I am wearing
> shorts and a polypro shirt, which is fine, just my fingers are cold.
> It's about 8 degrees Celsius out (45F for you yanks). The cooler
> temperature has made it practically impossible to get anything out of
> my gel flask so I haven't really had any source of energy since before
> the race. Either something is going wrong with my brain or all the
> mile markers are messed up because I keep missing them. I think a bit
> of both. I get very confused and I think I have lost 5 minutes and
> then that I have gained 5 minutes. I decide to ignore it and keep
> running. I am passing a lot of people.
>
> Mile 18-20
> Somewhere along the way I became lackadaisical, forgot I was running
> in a race, and actually slowed down for a few minutes. A woman in her
> mid 40s passes me and is running strong. This is the first time I have
> been passed since my bathroom break, and she inspires me and breaks me
> out of my slumber. I sit on her tail for the next little while. We run
> past some spectators cranking Billy Joel from a ghetto blaster and
> this gets me pumped (Billy Joel ? who woulda thunk it). I run right
> beside her for a few hundred meters with Billy pumping through my
> veins, but she seems to be slowing. I offer words of encouragement and
> tell her that she is pacing me. This is the only time I actually
> interacted with any of the other runners, I think I'm a bit of a snob.
> She looks tired so I continue on without her up the first of many
> hills to come. We head into a wooded area on an old windy road that is
> very green and scenic. People that started too fast are dropping like
> flies.
>
> Mile 21:
> I pass the 20th mile marker, and start up the 21st mile. Alledgedly
> this is when "The Wall" is supposed to hit. The genius who designed
> the course has decided to put the biggest hill right here. It is very
> steep. I attack it hard. It feels great to pass people on this hill.
> It is a guilty pleasure as I know some of them are not feeling good at
> all. However some cheer me on as I work my way up. I'm having a lot of
> trouble reading both my pace band and my watch, but I think I'm only
> about 45 seconds off pace.
>
> Mile 22:
> The same hill continues up East Madison although it is not as steep
> now. The numbness that I had earler attributed to coldness has now
> spread to include my whole hand. Then it moves up to my elbows, then
> shoulders and eventually to my head. I feel halucinogenic, like I'm in
> a David Lynch movie. I expect little backwards speaking midgets to
> jump out of the bushes at any moment with their pet llamas in tow. I
> am a little worried and think I may have hit the wall, but I decide to
> keep up the pace and if I fall over I fall over. I am also worried
> because I haven't been able to get much sustenance during the race. I
> am weary of the gatorade because I have never trained with it and my
> energy spooge is not working because of the stupid flask. I hit the
> top of the hill and the downhill starts, but it is steep and hurts
> more than the uphill. Thankfully the wierd numbness subsides and is
> now just in my hands and forearms, what a relief.
>
> Mile 23-24
> We head through the Arboretum (fancy word for tree park). Starting to
> feel good again as it is a more gradual downhill and I figure I'm on
> the home stretch.
>
> Mile 25
> I pass my old place from when I lived in Seattle 2 years ago. I had
> told myself earlier that this was the spot were I would start givin
> 'er. I change my mind.
>
> Mile 26
> The Space Needle is in sight, I head into downtown still passing
> people. My running style is becoming very labored. I can't hold good
> form, but I can still hold pace.
>
> Mile .2
> I check my watch and I have about 3 minutes to finish the last little
> stretch. I am ahead of pace now and am positive I will get my goal on
> chip time (the time from when you cross the start line to when you
> cross the finish line). This is all that really matters to me but I
> wouldn't mind getting my goal on photo time too (the time from when
> the starting gun goes off and guarantees a nice picture of you
> crossing the finish line under your time). I come into the stadium and
> I can see the clock ticking away 3:44:50, 3:44:51, .... I hit the
> grass, it is soft and spongy and I am runnning as fast as I can ....
> to the 50 yard line ... 3:44:57 ...  the 40, the 30 ... 3:45:00 ...
> the 20, the 10, TOUCHDOWN.  I just miss it and finish at 3:45:06.
>
> Epilogue
> In the recovery area I can barely walk. Man servant Franke gets me
> food and water. He tells me to look at my foot. The whole right side
> of my shoe is bloody as it has leaked out of the blister. I feel
> tough. I head back to Frankes place where I do what all the top
> athletes do after a big race; eat greasy chicken and drink whiskey.
>
> I am very happy with my time, which was 3:44:12. I did the first half
> in 1:55:06 and the second half in 1:49:06. I finished 402/1272 for
> males, 77/228 for my age group (M30-34) and 494/2325 overall. Next
> stop Vancouver Marathon in May with a goal of 3:25.
>
> Lessons I learned
> 1. Ignore it, it will go away.
> 2. Don't do anything different from training on race day. I already
> knew this, but I did make a couple of minor exceptions and it did
> affect me. I made the mistake of taking a gel flask which I had never
> used and having a shower in the morning which I believe caused my
> chafing.
> 3. Billy Joel rocks
> 4. Don't eat so much pasta the night before a race.
> 5. Don't wear your HR monitor during a race. I was told this by some
> members of the newsgroup but sometimes I just gotta learn the hard
> way.
>
> Thanks for reading.
>
> Daryl
>
>