Light Metering...How to do it right?

Okay I am sure there are many ways to do it right, but how to meter 
accurately? I have a good spotmeter (Gossen Starlite), in fact an 
excellent meter, but I don't think I can use it even remotely close to 
it's capabilities. I understand the basics, I know that my meter is 
going to provide me with an exposure to create something close to 18% 
grey (ingnoring the K factor arguments) wether I used incident or 
refelective. I know that I should be metering something near average 
grey in the scene if I am to use the straight readings (reflective). I 
am studying Ansel Adams "The Negative" but I shoot roll film, I am not 
going to be able to develop one image N+1 and the next N-1. How do I 
decide what is the best part of the scene to meter? Apart from shooting 
for years and years, is there a good method to indicate what to point 
that spot at?
Currently I find my matrix meter to do a better job than me at getting a 
good reading most of the time, but I hate not knowing why?
Is there a really good book on metering, I bought the "Handheld Exposure 
Meter Book" by Hirschfeld,Shell and Silverman but that is really crap. 
The manual with the meter is way better. Any suggestions?