Jon Goes to Home Depot

[Episode 1:  Our hero, Jon Anderson, armed with his to-do list, walks
in to his local Home Depot.  After a fulfilling hour in the garden
section seeking imperfection with the sunflowers, Jon summons his
courage and ventures into the dark depths of hardware.  Working there
today is Gus Williamson, a 62-year-old ex-Marine from Texas, dripping
with grizzle.  As he directs an overweight couple to the plumbing
department, Jon approaches cautiously.  We pick up the story here...]

Jon:  Asking!
Gus:  Excuse me.
Jon:  Asking.
Gus:  What can I help you wit, pal?
Jon:  Create a New Dimension!
Gus:  Did you say "Create a New Dimension?"
Jon:  Does a lamb cry out before we shoot it dead?
Gus:  What the hell you talkin' bout?
Jon:  When we are winning we can stop and shout.   Making love towards
perfection!
Gus:  Um, I'm not sure I got all that.  Let's start at the beginning. 
You want to *create* a new dimension?  Why?
Jon:  What you can't see can't be very whole.
Gus:  Yeah, sure.  You're outta my league pal.  I don't know anything
about that kind of stuff.  Is there something specific I can I help
you with?
Jon:  Show us how amid the rack of confusion.  Drive in thoughts of
high, satisfy, in a plan, Set it out for all to understand it.
Gus:  Sorry, but we don't do the plans here.  Ya might want to consult
with a cosmic architect.  Have you pulled permits?
Jon:  Guessing problems only to deceive the mention.  Passing paths
that climb halfway into the void.  As we cross from side to side, we
hear the total mass retain.
Gus:  I'll take that as a ‘no.'  Ya gotta go to city hall and talk to
the planning department first, pal.
Jon:  And you and I climb, clearer, towards the movement?
Gus:  Sorry pal, you're on your own.  Anythin' else I can help you
wit?
Jon:  Sharp! Distance!
Gus:  Utility knives and tape measures are up front by the cash
registers.
Jon:  Called out, saviour
Gus:  Um... you're welcome.
Jon:  We have heaven!

[Jon walks away frustrated, and makes a beeline back to the
sunflowers.]


What happens in the next expisode?  Your move.