Re: I've got a topic for discussion...

[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote in message news:<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>...
> Rager93 <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> 
> 
> >I draw distinction between "cheating" and "adultery".  I think the law
> >does as well.  See for me once a person decides to go outside the
> >mariage for companionship they have in essence "cheated".  Acting on it
> >is where one crosses into adultery.  Cheating starts with the thought.
> 
> I agree. This would be where Loren's opinion comes into play... I guess if
> you're involved in a purely sexual relationship, it would be different butwhen
> you are involved emotionally with someone, there's emotional betrayal as well,
> which is what happens when you start contemplating these sorts of things.

    Agreed.

> >To be completely honest, my relationships with certain female members
> >of this newsgroup is still an "issue" between me and my wife.  Have I
> >cheated?  Certainly not in my mind.   

     Not in any sane person's mind either, assuming your
correspondance with others has been similar to your correspondance
with me.  If discussing music and trading cds is cheating, then pretty
much everything would be cheating.

> >My wife asks about Shaye and Rox specifically, and what I get through
> >my correspondence with them.  Not an unfair question in and of itself. 
> >My reply is that I get the same thing from them as I do from Brent,
> >Britt, Bryant, Greg, Synthuser, Johan, Chris Tidwell, and ever yother
> >male person I've had personal contact with through the newgroups or
> >e-mail:  Friendship, commraderie and a common love for a particular
> >type of music.  
> 
> Wow. To me, you're all friends and I would never consider my corresepondence
> with anyone from here anything close to cheating. But...

    Me too.  I'd even be surprised if any post of mine to this ng has
even been construed as flirtatious.
 
> >She doesn't get the whole "newgroup/internet thing" to begin with and
> >would be insecure about me cultivating relationships with women period. 
> >That's her nature.  I understand it and we deal with it.
> 
> I can understand that point of view to an extent.

     So can I - to an extent.  If Ray were on some ng and mentioning
discussions with women, I might feel that little prick of jealousy
(which is probably much too strong a word but I can't think of a
better one).  The same would goes for female friends.  But despite
that feeling, I wouldn't have a problem with it.  It's natural, bu
it's also silly and I know it is.  Most of my friends are guys, and
we'd have a real problem if he got upset with me every time I posted
on this ng, or went to a concert with a friend, etc.  I'm sure he has
that little feeling of jealousy from time to time too - I can tell
from the way he asks about certain people when I mention them.  But he
also knows it's silly and that there isn't any reason for concern.

> Anyway, it's interesting to see how very similar everyone's opinions are...'ve
> seen some articles on internet "cheating" of all sorts over the past fewyears,
> and it's apparently becoming rather prevalent for people to answer online
> personals or visit flirty chatrooms or have "cybersex." I would guess it's ust
> the temptation of having "other" so readily available added to the idea you
> won't get caught that lures so many more people in. 

    Probably so.  I also know some people who think it's harmless as
long as it stays online and you don't go and meet the person your
having cybersex with in person.  They don't think it's any different
from watching a video or looking at porn.  I disagree - even though
it's anonymous to an extent, you're still having an intimate
experience with someone else.  And my general rule of thumb as well is
that if you can't tell your partner about it, you shouldn't do it.  If
they think it's all good fun, so be it.  But if you're doing it behind
their back, that's a good indicator that it's wrong.

Chris