USEFUL PHRASES TO KNOW WHEN TRAVELLING IN MOSLEM AREAS

This is from a multi-generation xerox copy that was given to me by
someone I know.  I have no idea where it came it from or if it is
accurate, but it is amusing nonetheless.

AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOTFAN.

Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.

FEKR GABUL CRADAN DAVAT PAEH GUSH DIVAR.

I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie on the floor with
my arms above my head and my legs apart.

SHOMAEH FEKR TAMOMEH OEH GOFTEH BANDE.

I agree with everything you have ever said or thought in your life.

AUTO ARREREGH DAVATEMAN MANO SEPAHEH HAST.

It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the trunk of
your car.

FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAYEH MOHEMARA
JEBEHKESHVAREHMAN.

If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital appendages I
will gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in public.

KHREL JEPAHEH MANEH VA JAYEH AMERIKAHEY.

I will tell you the names and addresses of many American spies
travelling as reporters.

BALLI, BALLI, BALLI !

Whatever you say!

MATERNIER GHERMEZ AHLEIEH, GHORBAN.

The red blindfold will be lovely, excellency.

TIEKH NUNEH OB KHRELEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM.

The water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you.  I must have
the recipe.

[Ed:  Reportedly these phrases are actually garbled Persian!  ]

--
>From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann and
Jim Griffith.  This newsgroup posts former jokes from the newsgroup
rec.humor.funny.   Visit http://www.netfunny.com/rhf to browse the RHF pages
and archives on the web.