"Do not operate heavy machinery while wearing..."

When I recently bought a t-shirt from a company called "East Beach", it
came with this instruction sheet, which I found amusing:

OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS:

  1.  Pull garment on over head, placing arms through appropriate
      openings.

  2.  Finish with label at back of collar with design facing out.
      _Fashion note - tail can be worn out for casual or tucked in for
      formal_

  3.  Wear shirt to pre-determined occasion.  _Important note - remove
      all tags or labels, such as this one, before wearing in public_

  4.  After shirt is sufficiently soiled, place in washing machine
      (note - for best results remove shirt)

  5.  Leave the shirt just the way you removed it - inside out.  Wash
      warm water/cool rinse.

  6.  _Note - Xtreme shirts are NOT underwear - don't let your mother
      throw it in hot water, and keep her away from the bleach_

  7.  Dry on low heat, air or line dry.

  8.  Return garment to right-side out and repeat step 1.

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