Review: Haunted Mansion, The (2003)

"Haunted Mansion"

Jim Evers (Eddie Murphy) is a hard driving, go-go-go
realtor always looking to make yet another sale. When
his wife and business partner, Sara (Marsha Thomason),
is summoned to an old, antebellum mansion to discuss
its sale by the owner, Edward Gracey (Nathaniel
Parker), Jim smells a big deal. Instead of keeping his
promise to take the family away for the weekend, he
leads the way to Gracey Manor. The Evers, with their
two kids, don't know it but they are about to enter a
"Haunted Mansion."

This is the third time that Disney has taken one of
its theme park rides and turned it into feature movie.
First was the surprisingly popular "The Country
Bears," followed by the box-office dynamo, "Pirates of
the Caribbean." I didn't see the former, loved the
latter and have never been to Disney World but was
open-minded about "Haunted Mansion." I got, I am told,
a fairly accurate rendition of the theme park ride of
the same name, but not much more. After the roller
coaster ride (and terrific comic performance by Johnny
Depp) of  "Pirates," I was less than thrilled with the
blandness of "Mansion." 

Murphy's Jim Evers is shown as a glad-handing realtor
who is more concerned with the sale than he is his
family. He takes yet another meeting with perspective
clients rather than get home in time for his
anniversary celebration. Jim gives his word that he
will take them all to the lake for the weekend when
Sara gets the mysterious phone call from Gracey's
butler, Ramsley (Terence Stamp). Sara tries to put it
off but the eager realtor sees dollar signs in the
prospective deal and decides to make a little detour
on the way to the lake, "just for 20 minutes," to
check out the old manor. While there, a violent
downpour washes out the road to the remote estate and
the Evers family must stay the night.

Jim disregards the warnings and evidence that there
are ghosts in the mansion until he discovers the truth
about Edward Gracey and the man's interest in Sara.
When Evers is separated from his wife and kids, he
realizes the true values of life, finds the kids and,
with the help of crystal ball bound seer, Madame Leota
(Jennifer Tilly), stops Gracey's plans for Sara. This
fantasy tale is rife with special F/X: ghostly
apparitions, flying instruments, singing statues and
more whirl around the mansion and offer help and
hindrance to the Evers.

"Haunted Mansion" may have an audience in those 4 to
7-year olds that are familiar with the ride and will
be amused by the spooky action on screen. There is
little appeal, though, for anyone older than that.
Eddie Murphy should be embarrassed by his portrayal of
Jim Evers. His fake smile salesman persona extends to
his family life and, you get the feeling, has always
put Sara and the kids, Michael (Marc John Jefferies)
and Megan (Aree Davis), after business. Worse, still,
are the wide-eyed stares of fright - akin to Stepin
Fetchit in the 1930's - as Murphy hams it up with the
ghosts. I hope Murphy got a lot of money for "Haunted
Mansion" because it surely does not do his career any
good. 

Marsha Thomason has the unfortunate task of being the
object of the ghostly affections of Gracey and gets to
just play a damsel in distress. Marc John Jefferies
and Aree Davis are OK as the kids but are mainly
relegated to reacting to the off screen effects that
aren't really there. Terence Stamp, as the droll, slow
moving but ever-present butler, Ramsley, steals the
show any time he is on the screen. Wallace Shawn and
Dina Waters play a ghostly pair of servants that aid
the Evers in their quest save Sara and free the earth
bound apparitions that are stranded between life and
the freedom of "white light." Nathaniel Parker is
uninteresting as the master of Gracey Manor.

Technically, "Haunted Manor" is not bad. (Though, not
anywhere near enough to make me recommend the movie.)
The ghost effects are routine but the flying
instruments and barbershop quartet singing busts are
amusing. Special F/X, alone, do not make a good movie.

If the creative folk at Disney are going to keep using
the theme parks as an idea pool for films, they should
stick to the "Pirates" mold and break the "Haunted
Mansion" one. I give it a D+.


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X-RT-TitleID: 1127461
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X-RT-RatingText: D+