[LNH] Dirk Kelvin is YYY#6: The Mattress Reupholstered, Part II

             Dirk Kelvin is YYY#6: The Mattress Reupholstered, Part II

 "Daddy?  Daddy?"
 "Michael?"
 "Wake up, Daddy?"
 "Where am I?"
 "You are in a train station."
 "Yes, but where?"  Deja Dude looked around.  The walls were painted a 
perfectly clean white while the tracks and the tunnels to which they led 
were pitch black.
 "You're in a world between the real world and the Looniverse," Michael 
explained.
 "How did I get here?"
 "You were fighting with Arthur E. L. Presense and you passed out.  
Remember?"
 "I remember."
 "You went to the Philippi.net and left the rest of the Legaue of 
Exrtraordinary Net.Heroes to fight wReamicus Maximus and the Sentries."
 "That's right."
 "They're probably fighting them right now."

 "This is June Lee of the League of Extraordinary Net.Heroes.  We are 
approaching LNH HQ in a flight.thingee.  We can see the Sentries entering 
the building through your roof.  We want you to open the bay doors so that 
we can help."
 >>Alright.  Good luck!<<
 "Dirk, are you ready with the EMP?"
 >>Ready!<<
 "Are you ok out there?"
 >>Don't worry about me!  Just get us into that bay safely past those 
Sentries!<<  Dirk Kelvin was standing on the roof of the flight.thingee, 
holding on for dear life with magnetic boots.  He was ready to activate the 
electromagnetic pulse as soon as they were in the bay.
 "Alright.  Here we go!"
 The flight.thjingee bay doors opened and June Lee flew her flight.thingee 
in through the doors.  The bay was full of Sentries!  A few had already been 
taken out of commission by the LNH's defenses but there were dozens of them 
still active!  Kid Kirby, Multi-Tasking Man and Irony Man, all three of them 
in full body armor, were doing their best to fight off the invaders with 
their repulsor beams but they quickly were being overwhelmed!
 "Dirk!  Do it now!"
 Dirk slammed his fist down hard on a big button that activated the EMP.  
An electrical discharge filled the flight.thingee bay.  Sentries, 
flight.thingees and LNH body armor alike were all shut down by the EMP.
 "It worked!"
 "Yeah!"  Dirk Kelvin raised a fist in the air and brought it down for 
emphasis.  He took his magnetic boots off and jumped down onto the floor of 
the flight.thingee bay.  "We did it!"
 "Am I supposed to thank you?" Irony Man asked.
 "I think so," Dirk said indignantly.
 "You shut down all our defenses!  What do you think you were doing?"
 "I saved you from the Sentries!"
 "Saved us?  With our defenses shut down what is going to protect us from 
further attacks?  Saved us?  You've handed us to them!"
 "Don't worry!  Generic Man is outside!  He can handle the rest of the 
Sentries by himself."

 As if on cue, Generic Man appeared in the air above LNH HQ.  He assumed a 
fighting stance and waited for the Sentries to come.  Then he saw them.  
There were hundreds of them!  They looked like a single mass of black liquid 
metal!  The air was filled with the buzz of machinery!
 "Oh, boy!"

 "Here comes the train, Daddy!"
 The train pulled up and stopped in front of them.  It was painted the same 
white like everything else in the station.  The doors opened.  There was 
nobody inside.
 "Where does the train go?" Deja Dude asked.
 "We can get off at Net.ropolis station," Michael told him.  "Come on!"
 They got on the train and the doors closed behind them.

 "I'm impressed," wReamicus Maximus told his guests.  "You fought well 
against my acolytes.  Now, perhaps you can tell me why you are here."
 Innocent Looking Guy stood with Resdan at his left and Ku Lang at his 
right.  "We're here to make a deal."
 "Really?  But that presumes that I have something that you want and you 
have something that I want.  What can that be?  Hmm.  I know!  You can go 
bring me the head of the Ultimate Ninja!  Then we can make a deal!"
 "I don't think so," Resdan said, repeating his often stated catch phrase.
 "We don't have time for this," Ku Lang said.
 "Agreed."  Innocent Looking Guy reached forward and grabbed wReamicus 
Maximus by the throat and then lifted him out of the chair.  "How's this for 
a deal?  You call off your attack on LNH HQ and we let you live?  Fair 
enough?"
 "Those terms are acceptable," wReamicus Maximus decided.  He touched a 
button on his chestplate.  "It is done.  The Sentries are retreating."
 "You control the Sentries using this chest plate?" Innocent Looking Guy 
asked.
 "I give you my word!"
 "Good!"  Innocent Looking Guy put wReamicus Maximus down again and then 
dug his fingers under his chestplate and started to pull.  The chestplate 
started to buckle and the broke off from the rest of his armor.  Innocent 
Looking Guy then took the broken chestplate and started rolling it up into a 
big metal ball.  His teammates were amazed.  "I've been working out," he 
explained.  "Now he can't send the Senties back against LNH HQ."
 "But if you do ever threaten our friends again," Ku Lang said, "we will be 
back!"
 "Count on it!" Resdan added.

 "We're here, Daddy!  We're in Net.ropolis!"
 "Look, son!  They did it!  The Sentries are retreating!"
 "Yay!"
 "I'll go up and see how Generic Man is doing."  Deja Dude assumed the 
power of flight and flew up to be next to Generic Man.  "Aaron.  Are you 
okay?"
 "Okay?  I'm fine!  They never touched me!  I can't believe I got through a 
storyline without getting hur--"
 Arthur E. L. Presense had just appeared behind Generic Man.  He grabbed 
him and through him away with such force that he collided with one of the 
buildings."
 "Ouch!" Deja Dude said.
 "Mr. Phipps!  Welcome back to the Looniverse!"
 Deja Dude sighed.  "Do we have to fight again?  I mean we fought in the 
original Mattress and we fought again last issue.  It's just getting 
redundant."
 "Think of it this way: you beat me, I beat you, so now we're going for 
best two out of three!"
 "Fair enough!" Deja Dude said, assuming a kung fu stance.
 "Good!" Arthur E. L. Presense said with a smile.
 They fought in mid air for a few minutes until finally Deja Dude decided 
that this issue's page length was enough and he delivered the coup de gras: 
a Vision style thrust to his chest that actually passed straight through 
Arthur E. L. Presense's chest.
 "What are you doing?" he asked.
 A black ink like substance formed around the hole in Arthur E. L. 
Presense's chest.  The ink flowed outward to cover his entire body.
 "It's not fair!" he complained.
 With Arthur E. L. Presence's body covered in black ink, he started to glow 
from his eyes and mouth and then the ink started to crack and Arthur E. L. 
Presense dissolved into nothingness.
 "Now I'd better see what happened to Generic Man!"
 Deja Dude flew in the direction that he saw Generic Man thrown until he 
saw a building with an Aaron Andrews sized hole in one of its walls.  He 
flew down to investigate.
 "Aaron?  Are you ok?"
 "Yeah," he said and then added "I'm going to get you for this one of these 
days!"
 "Oh, Aaron!  You always say that!"

Later...

 "And in light of the brave act of flying into LNH HQ while standing on top 
of a flight.thingee -even though some people argue that setting off an 
electromagnetic pulse in LNH HQ was a bad idea- I hereby grant you LNH 
membership should you so desire to join!"
 Dirk Kelvin looked Ultimate Ninja squarely in the eye.  I'll join under 
one condition!"
 "What's that?"
 "That you let Deja Dude come back with me!"
 Ultimate Ninja sighed.  "Very well.  We haven't seen Kid Enthusiastic for 
a while anyway.  I assume he's busy with some unfinished storyline that his 
writer doesn't have any more time to work on.  Alright then: Deja Dude, you 
can have your old room back!"
 Deja Dude smiled.  "Hey, Dirk, thanks!"
 "No, problem, partner!"  They shook hands.

                                                             THE END

CREDITS

Ultimate Ninja and wReamicus Maximus created by Raymond "wReam" Bingham
Kid Kirby created by Jameel Al Khavitz
Irony Man created by Doug Moran
Multi-Tasking Man created by Mark "Klone Crimson" Friedman
Arthur E. L. Presense created by Steven Howard
Deja Dude, Dirk Kelvin, Generic Man, June Lee, Ku Lang,
Innocent Looking Guy, Resdan and the Sentries created by me.
Michael created by me and my wife. ;)

Martin

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