[LNH] Dirk Kelvin is YYY #4.1

                                               Dirk Kelvin is YYY #4.1 -- 
Interlude

 Deja Dude looked intently at the chess board, pondering his next move.  
Dirk Kelvin approached him cautiously, not wanting to disturb his 
concentration, but then he had to ask the question that was gnawing at him.
 "Who is your opponent?"
 Deja Dude looked up at his teammate so as to not appear impolite, answered 
the question and then went back to considering his next move.  "Me, 
actually," he had said.
 "How is that possible?" Dirk asked.  "How can you play against yourself?"
 "It's not all that difficult," Deja Dude told him.  "I haven't been 
playing chess for very long and I make a lot of mistakes.  Sometimes I don't 
see the mistake until after I make the move and then, well, I end up taking 
my own piece, or rather my opponet's piece but then the opponent is me.  
They are all my own pieces really.  It's kind of like a civil war."
 "I would have thought that you would always end up in a draw because you'd 
always know what move you were going to make before you made it, so to 
speak."
 "Except that I usually make the white pieces the offensive side and the 
black pieces the defensive side: the white pieces attack with the rooks and 
the bishops and the queen whereas the black side defends with the pawns and 
the knights.  Now, if you are a good player then playing aggressively makes 
a lot of sense because you can get your opponent in check very quickly by 
moving the right pieces into place but it you aren't careful then playing 
aggressively means stupidly losing your most valuable pieces and then 
finding it almost impossible to defend your king, let alone get your 
opponent in check.  When I play with myself I find that the white side 
usually loses and then that is an important leason I've learned for when I 
play an actual opponent."
 Dirk smirked.  "Do you like that?  Playing with yourself?"
 Deja Dude also smirked.  "I don't like it when I lose to myself but it 
feels good when I beat myself."
 "And do you do that a lot?" Dirk asked.  "Beat yourself, I mean."
 "I don't know what you mean," Deja Dude said, innocently.
 Dirk sighed.  "Look, the reason I came to talk to you is to tell you that 
I'm feeling a bit bored."
 "Do you want to play?" Deja Dude offered.  "I could call this game a draw. 
 We could have a tournament!  The two of us play and then I can play the 
winner!"
 "You're crazy!"
 "I do try."
 "Seriously," Dirk insisted.  "It's been seven months already and I haven't 
seen any action whatsoever.  I'm supposed to be the star of this book, 
remember?  It's my name in the title, after all."
 "Oh I see," Deja Dude said.  "Well, the truth is I've been a bit busy 
lately with real life but I think I can arrange something for two issues at 
least."
 "Well, good, because, frankly, I didn't sign up for this so I could sit 
here and watch you play chess."
 "Fair enough," Deja Dude said.  "That's the nature of this reality, I 
suppose: everybody is an action junkie."  He thought for a moment.  
"Alright, how's this, starting next issue we will have a new storyline and 
I'll try to make it go for at least two issues, in which case the title of 
the next issue will be

                                          THE MATTRESS REUPHOLSTERED, PART 
I!

Fair enough?"
 "Sounds good to me," Dirk told him.  "Bring it on!"
 "Can I finish my game first?" Deja Dude asked.

NEXT: THE MATTRESS REUPHOLSTERED, PART I!

Martin

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