[LNH] Bride of C'thulhu #4 -- A Chaotic Add-On Story

(2nd attempt at posting)

BRIDE OF C'THULHU
A Legion of Net.Heroes Chaotic Add-On Story
Part 4
by Saxon Brenton

As you remember from the previous episode:
     "Together, we are known as Dualist Lad!"
     "...Ah, a Triad ripoff. I see." Skunk Girl nodded.
     Dualist Lad fell over. "...well, that isn't what's important right 
now. We must destroy that dire demon from the deepest of dark dimensions!"
     "But how? Inappropriate amounts of alliteration can't help us 
against this beast!"
     Out of the shadows of the food court stepped a shadowy form. "No... 
but I can!"

And now, read on:
     The shadowy figure resolved itself into Patient Zero. Behind him 
appeared Absurd Lass, who looked somewhat aggrieved. "I believe that's 
*we* can help against that beast. We're supposed to be a team, remember, 
Mister Ego-The-Size-Of-A-Planet."
     "Ah. Yeah," said Patient Zero sheepishly. Then, recovering quickly, 
he struck a Significant Kirby Pose: "Only by the fast and decisive 
intervention of the Divine Intervention Squad can this extra-dimensional 
interloper be expunged from our plane of reality. Quick Absurd Lass, 
evacuate these civilians so that we can secure the area!"
     "Hey!" protested Dualist Lad, taking grievance at being dismissed as 
a civilian.
     Skunk Girl rolled her eyes. "Does he *look* like a normal person?" 
she asked, indicating Dualist Lad's costume. "For that matter, do I look 
like a normal?"
     "Well, maybe not," hedged Patient Zero. "But you could be a 
hideously deformed mutant of superhuman size and strength."
     "You didn't tell us you where a hideously deformed mutant of 
superhuman size and strength," exclaimed Dualist Lad to Skunk Girl.
     "I'm *not* a hideously deformed mutant of superhuman size and 
strength!" snarked Skunk girl. Meanwhile Absurd Lass latched onto Dualist 
Lad's use of the word `us' and thought to herself, .oO( Hey, cool. 
Someone else who has troubles with their plurals! )
     And while the heroes were distracted by this ever-so-enlightening 
exchange of dialogue, Cyg.net.a finished pulling herself out of the rubble 
of the bathroom wall that the two component selves of Dualist Lad had 
blasted her into last issue. Then she returned the compliment.
     THWAMMM!!! went the sound effect as Cyg.net blasted her four 
opponents through a magnificent full page splashpage full of George 
Perez-style rubble and into the display area of Macy's. Nominally Patient 
Zero and Absurd Lass should not have been affected by something so 
mundane as mere physical concussive force - but Cyg.net.a's command of 
eldritch forces the likes of which humans were not meant to wot of could 
hardly be classified as `mere'.  .oO( Darn, ) were Absurd Lass' last 
conscious thoughts. ( We should have gone for the Class 3 Manifestation 
with the option for selective intangibility against forces capable of 
ravaging immortal souls. )
     KA-THOOOM!!! went the next sound effect as Cyg.net.a waved her 
tenacle-like arms and arm-like tentacles (she has ample numbers of both) 
and blew out the size of the building.
     Darkness began to gather as sullen stormclouds coalesced over the 
city. Biting winds began to whip up flurries of dirty snowflakes from the 
grey tinged drifts of Net.York snow. Across Manhattan and beyond people 
paused as they felt something horrid on the wind, and even hardened 
Net.Yorkers shivered involuntarily at... something... that was other than 
the cold.
     Cyg.net.a surveyed the city with hard eyes. Her face was dominated 
by a duck's beak fringed with a writhing moustache of tentacles, but 
still her mouth managed to turn down in a frown of distaste and 
disapproval. She also had the distinctive beehive-with-white-ripples 
coiffure made famous by Elsa Lanchester.
     Now Cyg.net.a threw back her head and snarled in an inhuman voice 
that echoed across the city. "Disgusting humans! Hear me now! YOU 
BELONG DEAD!"
     The stormclouds began to churn, and by now would have been described 
as `the colour of a bruise' if only bruises were an ugly olive green. 
Lightning bolts that were an eyewatering bluey/purply/ultra-violet hue 
crisscrossed the sky and struck repeatedly at certain buildings. And 
Net.York city began to twist and warp, just like the `Night On Bald 
Mountain' sequence from the original Fantasia.
     The Macy's building began to grow taller, adding gothic 
embellishments and H.R. Giger-esque protrusions as it went. There where 
a few sharp detonations of stone as the building flung out ornate flying 
buttresses, which struck and took root in the surrounding streets and 
on neighbouring buildings. The stone friezes of screaming faces were a 
nice touch.
     Cyg.net.a indulged in some maniacal laughter.

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Saxon Brenton     Uni of Technology, city library, Sydney Australia
[EMAIL PROTECTED]