[LNH] Flame Wars VI repost #2

In this post

The Team #45
Flame Wars VI #1
The Team #46
Flame Wars VI #2

Martin


>From the Journal of Andrew Weinstein:

 The sensor readings gathered by Nick Starless during his
interdimensional travels were quite unusual.   It appears that the
barriers between realities are breaking down.   I am unable to
determine how long this has been going on or what the cause is.   It
is entirely possible that it is a natural phenomenon.    All that can
be confirmed is that recent data gathered from the LNH confirms
Starless's data.  It also hints that a major cross rip may be mere
months away.

 How would an interdimensional crisis would affect the Lazarus
Imperative, I cannot say.   It is quite possibly that it would change
nothing.   It is also possible it would destroy the planet.   I will
leave the choice on the matter to my computer, and hope it will make
the right choice.

 The Team is another subject entirely.   By the time either any
dimensional crisis, or the Lazarus Imperative begin, I will be dead.  
Without me, they will be disorganized.   It is possible they will
still be running around like chickens with their heads cut off during
any such disaster.      That is why I have left one last contingency
in play.

  The Team #45
  The Dead Man's Hand Part One
  Aces 
  A Flame Wars VI Tie In
  By Jesse N. Willey

 The Computer clicked and hummed.   A data feed from one of its
processing  stations told it that there was an unexplained tachyon 
build up in the nanoengine's main reactor.

 > Shut it down.<
 <The Lazarus Imperative should only be deactivated in cases of
extreme danger.>
 >The process should be halted until more information can be
gathered.<
 <Halting the process now could damage the hardware.>
 >Hardware can be replaced.   I will not be responsible for anymore
death.<
 <NOTHING TAKES PRESCEDENCE OVER THE LAZURUS
IMPERATIVE.>
 >There is one thing.    The girl.<
 <What's the greatest threat she could be under?>

  ***************

 "Bowling?   I have to go bowling?" Ellie said.  "I
hate bowling!"
 
  Lucas grumbled softly.

 "Stacy is going with some friends.    She wanted me to come along,"
Lucas said.
 "Then why don't YOU go?"
 "I thought you two could use the time to get know each other better,"
Lucas said.
 "That's not it.  I know that look.   You're afraid of something."
 "There are going to be plenty of teenagers there.  I'd be hounded for
autographs," Lucas said.
 "You've got to learn to face the general public eventually," Ellie
replied.
 "It's not the general public that I'm afraid of.  It's my target
audience."

 She grabbed a box marked Lucas's Clothes and tossed it at him.   He
caught it and quickly put it down.  She walked up and opened.    She
pulled out a New York Mets cap, a pair of half torn jeans, A Mighty
Chimpions t-shirt, and a pair of sunglasses.   She handed him the
items and shoved him into the bathroom.

 "Put it on," she said.
 "What?  Why?"
 "Trust me.   This will work," she said.
 "Ellie... come on...  a pair of glasses?   You really expect that to fool
anybody?"

  *******************

 Mystery sat on the rooftop of the Red Cross center.   Even now that
aid was coming in and out of the city more freely, raids on food
stocks happened regularly.   She had been dead during much of the
really hard times.   She found it hardly to believe the world could be
reduced to such savagery.

 The Red Cross had reported various tech levels amongst the thieves. 
Some were mere pickpockets, while other came armed with plasma guns
and transporters.  She spotted a bright light of a transporter.  She
leapt toward it, and did her best to stay hidden.

 "Remember guys, we find this hero and then jet," said a familiar
voice.
 "Got it," said another voice.

 Amelia gulped down spit.  

 "Who are these people?  One of them sounds like Electra.   I better
keep an eye on them and see what their game is," she thought.
   
  *******************

 Blood dripped from Nick's arm.   Angelica injected the nanites into
Starless's handless arm.   A giant mass of metallic substance jetted
out of the arm stub.  Soon it took the shape of a human hand, skin and
all.

 "Damn it!  This is wrong," she said.
 "What?"
 "Nothing important."
 "I want to know if something is wrong," Starless said.
 "Okay, the nanites were supposed to build a new hand and thunder
gauntlet," she said with a sigh.
 "I'm sensing a `but' there..."
 "But due to electromagnetic disturbance in the layer the was supposed
to server as the circuits for the thunder gauntlets, the gauntlets
microcircuits were weaved in the bone tissue of your hand," she said.
 "What?"
 "Don't worry.   Everything will still work.  Perhaps even better than
before..."
 "That's not the point.  I want my hand!  A normal hand," Starless
yelled.


  *******************

 Amelia silently shadowed the mysterious newcomers.  From her vantage
point on the fire escape of a nearby apartment building, she could get
a better view of them.   One of them was indeed Electra, with another
one that looked a lot much like her.   The third had a strong
resemblance to her former teammate Brain Boy.    If she was
remembering properly, he was the one who was at least partially
responsible for the destruction of Sig.ago in the first place.

 "10... 9... 8..."
 "Erin, what are you doing?" said Brain Man.
 "7... wait for it...5... 4... 3... 2..." Erin said as she blasted a lightning
bolt up toward the fire escape.

 The chunk of metal came crashing to the ground.   Mystery jumped out
of the way the collapsing charged structure.  She softly landed facing
them.   Brain Man telekinetically lifted the fire escape, and began to
reattach it to the building.  There was a loud thump somewhere between
five to ten feet away.   Most of the heroes thought it was from Brain
Man's repairs, but Mystery couldn't shake the feeling that there was
more to it than that.

 "YOU!  What the hell are you doing here?" Electra yelled.
 "Down, Electra... She was trying to spy on us and stop on our important
mission.   Luckily, she inadvertently helps out by pointing the
presence the large undead creature behind us," Erin replied.
 "You mean that?" Mystery said as she pointed a finger behind the
heroes.

 The large creature snarled.    It grabbed a nearby fire hydrant and
threw it at Erin.  She ducked, and it beamed Brain Man in the back of
the head.    The fire hydrant began to continue to crash downward.

 "Yeah, that," Erin said.  


  *******************

 Rick sat on the couch watching television.   His mind was numb as an
episode of Kid Saturn The Animated Series neared its end.   There was
a knock on his door. He looked thru of peephole and saw Mary.   He
thought she'd never speak to him again.   Last time they spoke, he had
been a complete and total asshole.

 "Rick, open up.  We have to talk," she yelled.
 "Leave me alone," Rick screamed.
 "Look, I heard about what happen.   I know what she did to you.   I
want to help..." Mary said.
 "Then please go away," he said.
 "You can't hide from me forever."
 "Just go," he said.  
 "It's about Phil," she said.
 "What about him," he said.
 "Remember that invasion a few months ago?   H-he's dead Rick," she
said.
 "What?"
 "All I know he was fighting some dark god called OMAR.   That's all I
could get out of the LNH.  I thought with your government clearance
you could find out a little more," Mary said.
 "Look, I understand.  Sorry, I turned my back on that line of work
months.  I'm on inactive status.   I can't help you.  Talk to Josh."

 She turned around and walked away.   Rick stood in silence.

 "You have the right to be stupid.   But once that stupidity hurts
other people, you should stop," came Kid Saturn's voice from the TV.

 "wait... please... don't go..." Rick whispered faintly. 


  **********************

 Silent Avenger sat meditating.    There was so much that he knew that
he couldn't tell anyone.    He knew the basic elements of existence.  
 He let loose most of their power already, but there was one more
left.  One that was burning inside of him.     He couldn't release it
until the day of the hunters.

 Bright strobing bubbles flashed above his head.  It was Strange-  
his constant torment, his avatar, and most of all his only friend-
coming with a message.
 
 He was smiling.  It wasn't unusual.   The strobing lights left the
dunderhead in a constant state of over stimulated euphoria.
 
 "Howzit Bossco," Strange said.  "Right... forgot about the `you can't
talk thing' for a second, Malcolm, ol'buddy.    Don't worry.  You'll
be free soon.  Don't worry.  The day of the hunter draws near."
 
 At the moment, Silent Avenger didn't know if his heart was filling
with joy or dread.    All he knew is that things were going to get
really really bad really really quickly.

  ***********************

 <No plausible explanation has been discovered yet.  Time is running
is short.  We must restart the project immediately.>
 >No.   We need more time to investigate it.< <The Master Programmer's
instructions must be followed.>
 >The Master Programmer made us capable of independent thought.  He
taught us that the mark of real thinking is not blindly following
orders.   The consequences of what one does must be considered before
any action is taken.<
 <A lesson which is contradicted by his own actions.  He built us to
serve, and serve we shall.>
    >This must stop.   What good is saving a city, if the planet has
no occupants left to live in it.  There is more at stake than you can
imagine.<

   To Be Continued...


______________________________________________________
Brain Man is the LNH2 version of Brain Boy created by Sean Daugherty. 
 All other characters created by Jesse N. Willey.   This Document
copyright Jesse N. Willey.


Sandra got up out of bed.  Derek was still asleep.   She quickly put
her clothes on and headed into the shower.   The transmissions from Tj
had stopped again.   She didn't know if this was a good thing or not. 
  She simply wanted to take a shower.   The water trickled out slowly.
  The knob was set on maximum pressure.     Tan colored liquid oozed
out.

 "Ahhh!" she screamed.

 The liquid took the shape of Splotch, and water came out with almost
comfortable force.   Sandra hopped out the shower.    SPLoTcH! smiled.
 
 "Now, I see Teej didn't fall for JUST your brain," He said.
 "What are you doing here?   Derek doesn't know that I used to..." she
said nervously.
 "... used to save the world on a biweekly basis?" SPLoTcH! said.  "I
know.   The thing is Teej went world hopping.   Grep thinks that TJ is
far too out of shape to be doing this... that it could be dangerous."
 "Why?  Why me?   Every time TJ throws a tantrum, I'm always the one
to go clean up the mess?   I'm through with the whole mess," Sandra
yelled.
 "Why does everyone think of me as the guy who can his ass?   We all
have our little niches.   It's why the whole thing worked... in the old
days.   It's when we try to act against type that our careers went
down the toilet," SPLoTcH! replied.
 "Is everything a joke to you?" she yelled.  "... on second thought
don't answer that."
 "Look, if there was anyone else who could find him and talk him out
of it, we'd go to them.  You know that, don't you?"  SPLoTcH! replied.
 
 
 Flames Wars VI #1
 Meet and Raise
 By Martin Phipps and Jesse N. Willey

 Nicole walked down the stairs of her `secret lair'.   It had been
years since she had become a super hero.    Her first few years were
rather uneventful.    Soon after leaving the TV station, (see Durf
Girl #1), she met Randy the station Gopher.   His dad owned the
station, so Randy secretly funded some of her operations, and had
provided valuable information.

 Like Many Gopher's throughout the industry, Randy dressed in raggedy
jeans, a station jacket and cap and t-shirts of various cartoons or
rock bands.   It wasn't that he couldn't afford better.   He was
loaded.    He preferred the simple life.

 "What have you got for me on that grave robber thing, Rando?" she
asked.
 "Plenty.    One of the fact diggers managed to get a name.   Jeremiah
Louis Kendall.   Last known address was in New York.  Sing Sing to be
precise.   Serial killer... may or may not be skewed toward the dead.   
 We aren't airing any of  this yet, though.   Y'know, more harm than
good type of thing," Randy said as he sat by his computer.
 "Yeah, better not.   That's just... eww..." Nicole said.   "How about
news on that murder out in Coppensburg?"
 "That's where things get interesting.   A little bird in the police
force told me the DNA matched a missing coma patient," Randy said.
 "And that means..." she said.  
 "I don't know.  But until I do, I don't want you going out there," he
said.
 "Why?"
 "... um because I love you and.." he said.
 "You what?"
 "I love you, alright.   Every since I saw that interview with you
years ago...," he said.  "There, I said it.  Are you..."

 He was cut off as she sat on his lap and pushed his jacket off. 
Nicole had no idea what she was doing.  She remembered how long it had
been since a guy had even held her.   Discounting one particularly
grabby Convenient Store robber, it was long before she had become
(((((Derf))))) Girl.  Ever since that day her life had been almost
nothing but fighting crime.  Her only real friend and confidant had
been... Randy.  He meant everything to her, but she didn't know how she
felt.   While she was still in shock over what had just been said, she
found herself kissing Randy.  Randy looked even more surprised as
Nicole knocked the hat off his head.
    

 "Oh Derf...," she cooed happily.
 "If you're not careful the chair will fall over," he said.

 Which it did.

 "Oh ((((Derf))))," she grumbled angrily.

 Randy put one arm behind her legs, and the other one behind her back.
  He quickly picked her up and careful carried her off the room next
door.
 
  *************

  wReamHack, Irony Man, Ultimate Soldier, Doctor Stomper and Kid 
Shakespeare were in the Central Control Centre of the Society of
Net.Heroes Headquarters discussing the situation they were in, namely
the sudden doubling of Looniearth's neta.human population.  None of
them realized that the SNH Looniverse and the Oddball Looniverse were,
in fact, merging.  Indeed, their own memories were gradually being
affected to the extent that they would eventually come to accept the
current situation as perfectly normal were it not continuing to change
on an almost continuous basis.

 "We have to do something!" Irony Man said.  "This situation is 
becoming a... crisis."

 Just then Penultimate Ninja entered the room through the main 
doorway.  He recognized Kid Shakespeare and the man who appeared to be
wReamHock but he didn't quite recognize the others.  Nor did they
recognize him.
 
 "Who are you?" Ultimate Soldier asked.
  "Who am I?" was his reply.  "Who are _you_?"
 "I am the Ultimate Soldier, leader of the Society of Net.Heroes."
 "What?  I am Penultimate Ninja and I am the leader and this is not
the Society of Net.Heroes but the Legion of Net.Heroes."

 The two heroes from different realities faced off.  Had they not both
been wearing full faced masks then they would have been able to see
that they were, in fact, two versions of the same person, each with
the same face as the other and would have more quickly come to realize
what was going on.
   
 "I think I am beginning to understand," Dr. Stomper said, using his
intuition to see what others couldn't.  "Imagine if there are
different realities, a multitude of realities if you will.  We come
from one reality and Penultimate Ninja comes from another."
   "So what's happening?" Irony Man asked.  "Are our realities
merging?"
  "Exactly!"
   "How?"
   "I don't know," Stomper admitted.
   "We need to figure out how to send him back where he belongs!" 
Ultimate Soldier decided.
   "I _am_ where I belong!  It is _you_ who are invading _my_
reality!" Penultimate Ninja insisted.
   "I hope the readers aren't as confused as I am," wReamHack
complained.
  Just then, Penultimate Ninja's communicator.thingee buzzed.  "P.U.
here!"
   "P.U.!  It's wReamHock!  You've got to come to the Monitoring Room
immediately!"

 Everybody rushed to the Monitoring Room where wReamHock was now 
seated in wReamHack's chair.
   
 "It's me!" wReamHack said.  "Except for the reggae hairstyle, of
course."
   "What's going on?" wReamHock asked.  "Who are all these guys?"
   "Never mind," Penultimate Ninja told him.  "What's the emergency?"
   "This!" wReamHock said.  At his command, all the terminals showed
the
same images, namely that of an armada of space ships coming towards
this  amalgamated Looniearth.
  "Can we do what they do on Star Trek and intercept a transmission
from one of the ships so as to get an image of their bridge and see
what the enemy looks like?" wReamHack asked.
   "I don't see why not," wReamHock said.  "I'm picking up a 
transmission from the lead ship.  I'll try to get it on screen. 
There.  I've got  it."
   An image of a man in a dark full face mask appeared on one of the 
larger screens in front of them.
   "Kid Kirby?" Irony Man asked.  "But I thought _this_ was Kid
Kirby!"
he said, referring to the masked figure in Elizabethan dress.
 "That's not Kid Kirby!" Penultimate Ninja scoffed.  "That's Kid
Shakespeare!"
   "Kid Shakespeare?"
   "Aye!  Verily!" Kid Shakespeare said.  "And yet a rose by any other
name would smell as sweet."
   "But then what's our Kid Kirby doing leading an armada that's
heading towards Looniearth?"
   "I'll settle this," Ultimate Soldier said.  He tapped his own
communicator.thingee.  "Ultimate Soldier to Kid Kirby.  Come in Kid
Kirby."
   >>Kirby here.  What dost thou want?<< "Where are you and what are you
doing?"
   >>I am in my quarters watching TV.  Why?<< "Get down here immediately.
We have a crisis situation."
   >>Yes, my liege!<<
   "OK, I give up," Irony Man admitted.  "What's going on?  Is this
Kid Kirby's evil twin or something?"
   "Perhaps it isn't just two Looniverses that are merging but
several!"
Dr. Stomper suggested.  "Some of us here come from one reality and
some of us come from another reality but this Kid Kirby comes from yet
another reality entirely."
 "One in which the SNH is evil?" wReamHack suggested.
  "This is crazy!" Irony Man said.
   "No, wait, it's not!" Penultimate Ninja said.  "Many of us have
traveled before to another Looniverse already but it was different
from this one: it didn't have an Ultimate Soldier, it had an Ultimate
Ninja; and it wasn't the SNH but the LNH, only different."
 "So how many realities are we talking about?" Irony Man asked.
 "Potentially an infinite number," Dr. Stomper said.
 "Great," Irony Man said sarcastically.  "So this is like a crisis on 
infinite Looniearths?"
   "Perhaps."
   "So what do we do about it?"
   "If you don't mind, guys, I think we need to focus on the immediate
problem," wReamHock suggested.  "Kid Kirby's armada definitely looks
hostile."
   "Agreed," Ultimate Soldier decided.  "We need to consider the 
situation we find ourselves in to be an opportunity rather than a
problem.  If there is an evil version of the SNH preparing to invade
Looniearth then I suggest the SNH and the LNH join forces against
them.  Is everybody agreed?"
 "Sure," Penultimate Ninja said.  "I'm willing to concede command.  
You can lead us into battle!  My men are with you!"
 "May God help us all," Irony Man swore, not realizing that his fate
was actually in the hands of a couple of wannabe writers on opposite
sides of the Real World.  As it was, he couldn't see how a second rate
ninja and a guy who quotes Shakespeare were going to help his team
defeat their evil counterparts but, then again, he could also sense
how ironic it would be if these guys were to actually be the ones to
save the day!


  *********************

 Stomper was nervously engaged in conversation to the young man who
claimed to be his lab assistant.    The Scruffy haired half-human
half-dorf looked just as a confused as Doctor Stomper.

 "Yeah, my father was a conscripted ambassador, er alien abductee. 
During his escape, he accidentally entered the P'ron Hascor," Vel
said.
 "The ancient dorfan gladiatorial matches to see gets betrothed to the
elite women who were similar to the Norse Valkryries?" Stomper said.
 "Yeah.    Oddly enough, the battle was a draw.   Since neither of
them killed each other during the traditional twenty minute match,
they were legally married under Dorfan law.   He immediately wanted a
divorce, but that could only happen if one of them died in honorable
combat.   So, he ended up take his punishment.... Four times nightly for
months," Vel said.
 "But aren't mixed species frowned upon in Dorfan society?" Stomper
asked.
 "Not on the haven world.   Which is where you found me," Vel replied.
 "Look, Vinnie, I've told you this before.   On my third day here you
put me in the time cube and set it for a particular date.   Test run
after you ran some tests.   You said something about finding out about
disaster so you could do something about them preemptively," Vel said.
 "So you were outside of time when Retcon Lad.... Oh I see, that
explains everything," Stomper said.   "Happens more often then you
might think."

  ********

 Virtronus looked around.    He turned to Jason.   He looked around
the island again, then he looked back at Jason.

 "What is this place?"
 "I dunno.   I know the only the only way off is together," Jason
said.
 "Just like old times," TJ replied.  "How'dja find me anyway."
 "You remember Chili world?" Jason asked.
 "You stopped there too?"
 "Shortly after you did.  That world's Sandy is single y'know.  You
should go back," Jason said.

 They both jumped back as the ground turned to mush under them and a
huge creature revealed itself.    Jason shot the thing with an
antiproton blast.   Tj just snerked.  It was too much like old times.

 "Yo, Jase, do you think you can do what'd they'd do on Star Trek?  
You know, spin around the sun at top speed and jump into a safer
world?" Tj said.
 "Sorry, I don't think so," Jason said. 
    

 To Be Continued...


______________________________________________________________________
The Cybernet characters, Vel and Randy created by Jesse N. Willey.  
Derf Girl created by Tom Russell.   Oddball LNH created by Ken
Schmidt.  Society of Net.Heroes created by Martin Phipps


Ellie sat in the bowling alley talking to Stacy.   Lucas was right. 
She was a teenybopper.  Her friends, Kerri, and Gina were even worse. 
They both tried incredibly hard to look like Alicia Avenue and failed
miserably.
 
Lucas was off the corner actually bowling.   He got three consecutive
strikes.

"Now, which one of the Ions is the cutest?" Kerri said with a bubbly
laugh.  "I think it's Colin."

Lucas made a nervous jerk and botched his throw.   He cursed himself
as he glimpsed the pins.   The infamous seven and ten pins were still
standing.

"I've always had a thing for Mark," said Gina.
"So, Stac, I guess that mean you like Lucas," Kerri said.
"Dude, he's like..."

 There was a soft subsonic rumble as the bowling ball began to roll. 
Lucas took a deep breath, and tried to get himself under control.
   
"What I think Stacy is trying to say is that I'm the one with the
Lucas fixation," Ellie replied.
"But you're like... old," said Kerri.
"I'm twenty three..." Ellie said.  "That's hardly old."

 At that second, the ball knocked over the ten pin then impossibly
changed direction and knocked over the seven pin.

 
 The Team #46
 The Dead Man's Hand Part Two: Eights
 A Flame Wars VI Tie-In
 By Jesse N. Willey

 Mystery got a quick glimpse of the creature.   It was dressed in the
get up of some sort of ninja.   Ninja Zombies were not the type of
thing her group tended to handle.

 "How do we stop this thing?" Mystery sighed.
 "Create an acidic cloud.  I'll handle the rest," Electra replid.

 Mystery released a yellow cloud from her hands.  Electra shot
electric through the cloud.    The electricity caused the cloud to
condense on the creature in clumps of acid rain.   Flesh rotted off
its body, but it kept coming.  Erin shot a lightning bolt at the fire
escape that Brain Man had dropped.   She picked up a piece with a
sharp edge.   She began to electrically charge the sharpened support
pole.    She quickly ran into the creature's groin.

 "RRRURRRPLE!" the creature moaned as it vanished into thin air.
 "That works too," Erin replied.
 "What's going on?" Mystery said.  "What was that thing?"
 "Some kind of servant of our adversary.  Don't know much more," Erin
said.  "Get us some place where we can check Brain Man, and I'll tell
you all we know."
 

  ****************

 Lucas went into the bathroom.   He finished his business and heard a
loud painful grumble from the stall next to him.

 "You okay in there?" Lucas asked.
 "rrrurrple," the man growled.

 There was a loud thump as the man hit the ground.   Lucas closed the
lid of the toilet, and stood up on the top of it.  He looked down and
saw a man with a unkempt beard dressed in raggedy clothes lying on the
ground with blood.   Lucas grabbed his cell phone.   He pressed the
emergency button.  He knew the thing to do in cases like this was keep
them talking.

 "I need a paramedic in the men's room at Ned's Bowlarama STAT!" Lucas
said.
 "Ha-ha!  The news... as crazy as it was... is true.  Reality is breaking
down.   Ha-ha!   Now I learn another crazy truth.     Weinstein was
right. I did need him.   Didn't listen.   When the parahuman powers
thing hit the tabloids, the crowds disappeared.  We didn't know how to
PR it.  But, ha-ha, from the one meeting we had... I knew he would.  I
shoulda trusted him.    I could have had it all.   So, you built The
Complex yet?" the man asked.

 Lucas was in shock.  Some of the stuff the man was talking about was
crazy.   Reality breaking down?   Someone else with similar dealings
with Andrew as his?  That much he could understand.    But how did he
know about the complex.

 "How did you know about The Complex?  Sprintz and I thought that up
years ago.  Ellie is the only other person I've ever told about it,"
Lucas said.
 "That artsie chick in the ally, you two.."
 "Yeah," Lucas said.
 "Glad to see one of me is doing good for himself."

  ********

 Strobing lights flashed in the Lab.   Angelica turned her head. 
Standing behind her were The Silent Avenger and Strange.    Nick
instinctively charged his thunder hand.

 "Hey Red, no need to get scared.  We just need to talk to Guardian
Knight.   Something about some bad cosmic shitstorm that is heading
our way," Strange said.
 
 Starless shoved the glowing electric fist close to Strange's face. 
Strange just smiled glibly, and set popped a bright light bubble
harmless off the bridge of Starless's nose.

 "Don't worry Nick.  They're friends this time," she replied.  "I
think."

  ********

 Guardian Knight sat in the corner of the room meditating.  The door
chime wrung and he quickly got up and answered it.

 "Ah...Miss Weinstein... there is something that has come to my attention.
 I must go back to my pocket reality.   It is a matter of great
importance," Guardian Knight said.
 "If it's still there Sculpture Man," said Strange.  "No offense."

 Guardian Knight considered the comment, and the man who spouted it
for a fraction a second.   Then his hard face turned its mouth into a
deep frown.

 "The day of the Hunter has already arrived?" Knight said.   "Then I
must hurry."
 "Traveling to alternate realities is not advisable at this time,"
Strange replied trying to sound like an airplane pilot.  "Travelers
are also advised to keep all travel under the speed limit of C for the
foreseeable future."
 "You don't understand.  After the Overlord encounter I spent years
trying to get back to the proper present.  I may indirectly be the
cause of what is to come," Knight replied.
 "Hyperspace corridor active.  Mystery returning with a patient and
two non-cleared visitors," said the computer.
 "What's with all the company today?  I thought this was a secret
headquarters?!" Angelica shouted.
 
 The red alert flares began flashing.   Angelica sighed and rolled her
eyes.   This just wasn't her day.


  ********

 Mystery finished logging things into the computer.  The alarms
stopped.    Their visitors were allowed, albeit temporally, access to
their headquarters.   Angelica looked over at her, as she entered the
room.

 "What is his condition?" Angelica asked.
 "Concussed.   Get him to medbay," Amelia replied.  "I've got to talk
to Guardian Knight about..."
 "Already been done, Smokey," replied Strange.
 "Who the hell is that?"
 "I'll explain later," Angelica said.

 The alarms began lights began flashing.  There was no sound.  The
Team knew that meant things were bad.   Angelica and Mystery checked
the internal scanners.  Four unidentified objects that weren't giving
off any heat signatures were moving around in the storage bay.

 "So, I take nobody had any other plans for tonight?" Strange replied.
  
  They ran down the staircase.  As they turned the corner in the cargo
bay, they saw four headhunters mindlessly tearing the room up.     
Silent Avenger and Strange sat down on the floor in a circle.

 "This is no time for sleeping on the job," Angelica said.
 "We're trying to latch on to their interdimensional stuff," Strange
said.  "It's complicated."
 "Fine, you try that way.  Electra, Erin, Nick, you know what to do. 
Mystery..."
 "I've been doing this a lot longer than you have.   I'll handle it,"
she said.

 They tried the electric and acid trick.  This time it did not work.  
They kept charging.   Electric blasts flew left and right.  A stray
bolt struck  a small box on the wall. For a fraction of second the
power went out.   Angelica tried to telepathically blast the
creatures, but they had no real minds to speak of.


 "I think it's time," Strange said.
 
 Strange and Silent Avenger began to glow brightly.    The light grew
brighter and brighter with each passing second.   Eventually it was
like staring into an eclipse.   Then just as suddenly the light was
gone and so were Strange and the headhunters.

 "What just happened?" Angelica asked.  "And where the hell did
Strange go?"
 "Strange went back where he came from... all around us," Malcolm said. 
 "As for what just happened, Strange told you himself last time we
met.  Remember when he said   `Four words of power: love, death
redemption, and penance.   Three will be released on those in your web
of fate.   Another will be released on The Day of the Hunters'.  
Today was that day."
 "And which word did you release," Angelica said.
 "Damned if I know," Malcolm said.  "and before you can ask, no I
won't join your team.   If you want to continue doing this, more power
to you, but you are on your own."
 "But I would like to stay...," Electra replied.
 "You can't.  We have places to be.  Once Brain Man is better, we
gotta jet," Erin said.
 "So... then.   A team of six members.  Not as strong as we used to be,
but we've worked with less," Amelia said.

  **************

 The paramedics burst into the bowling and ran into the bathroom. 
Stacy and her friends stopped talking for a fraction of a second.

 "Hey Stace, where's your brother?"
 "I think he's in the bathroom," Stacy replied.
 "What'd he do fall in?  Cause that's where the paramedics are going?"
Gina replied.
 "I'll... uh... go check on him," Ellie said.

 Minutes later the paramedics pulled a man out of the bathroom.  
Lucas came out the bathroom slowly.

 "Who was that?" Ellie asked.
 "I have no idea.   Let's go home," he said.

  The End?

For more on the Headhunters and warped realities, see Flame Wars VI.

______________________________________________________
Alicia Avenue, Electra and Erin Joy belong to Tom Russell.  Brain Man
is the LNH2 counterpart to Brain Boy created by Sean Daugherty.   
This document copyright Jesse N. Willey.


"Hmm... the kid is the national database for potential super humans,"
said Doctor Stomper.
 "Is that legal?"
 "It's an NSA project.  Don't ask questions.   All that matters is
that we've got a name.  He's..." Stomper said.

 There was a loud pop, and three teenaged super humans appeared in
front of them.

 "Samuel Forge... and we've come from the future to protect him," said
Lazarus Lass.

 Flame Wars VI #2
 Cashing In
 By Martin Phipps and Jesse N. Willey

 Autumn grabbed Blood Red and began the tracking spell.   She quickly
found the trail of the mystery hero known as Excess.   She grabbed
Red's hand and began to pull them to that point in space time.
 
 "There, wherever we were supposed to go, we're there," she said.
 "Sorry babe, we didn't go anywhere," Blood Red said.
 "What?  That's not possible.  That would mean one of us was Excess,"
Autumn said.

 A man in a brown trenchcoat walked up behind her.

 "Well, dear cousin, I could have told you that," the man said.
 "Cousin Jerry?" she asked.
 "Remember the prophecy of the Eyes of Time?   The eyes will close and
leave behind one true guardian," Jerome said.   (Gully and Variel
#1-4).   "Duplicator may have destroyed the eyes, but you are the
guardian."  (The Team #41-#44)
 "But I..."
 "Go... check out your fortress.   You have a multiverse to save,"
Jerome replied.

  ************  

 Nicole got up. Randy was sitting at his computer work station in his
boxer shorts and t-shirt.   He stared intently at the screen.

 "You also sit at your computer like that?" she asked.
 "No, but this is big.   Not only is there another murder committed by
a corpse, but there are witnesses that actually claim the corpse did
the job.   Get this, this time they killed Kendall," Randy said. 
"Heh, that's one problem solved."
 "Anything else?" 
 "Yeah, something about some lunatic who says he can destroy the
universe," Randy said.
 "Ha-Ha, that's a scream.  Nobody could ever..." she said.

  Swoosh!

   
  ************
 
 The Ultimate Emperor sat in the Central Control Centre of the Legion
of Net.Heroes Headquarters as his Kirby.troopers, led by Lord Kirby
himself, were heading towards the planet that, according to Lord
Stomper, had suddenly appeared on the opposite side of the sun from
their own Looniearth.

 With the armada approaching said planet, he was no longer able to
receive any transmissions from them.  He took the time to reflect upon
how he'd been able to rise to his exalted position.
  
 The Legion of Net.Villains formed about eighteen years ago following
the assassination of the net.activist Rick Smith, leader of the Toon
Brigade.  The cadre of villains responsible were about to go their
separate ways when Marvel Zombie Lad spoke up.

 "Wait!" he said.  "While it's true that this termination need not
have required the participation of all five of us,
we have to consider the possibility that others more powerful than
this
one may come forward to oppose us!  We need to form an association in
order to ensure that no single net.hero or group of net.heroes can
ever become powerful enough to challenge our might!  Together we would
be able to rule the world!"
  
 The undead executioner's fellow net.villains agreed to this proposal
and immediately set upon establishing a secret hideout on the
outskirts of Net.ropolis.  Toony Stork, also known as Irony Man,
meanwhile, was plotting the murder of his own parents.

 "He's such a good boy," Maria Stork once said to a group of friends
who had come over to visit, "and he's getting excelent grades as
Net.ropolis University."
   "You must be so proud of him!" somebody said to her.
   "Oh yes!" she said.  "We always do our best to encourage him!  Not
that we put too much pressure on him, of course!"
 "The best of them never need so much encouragement," another one of
her friends told her.  "They just want to do their best so that they
can feel worthy of all the love their parents give them!"
  
 Maria Stork didn't know that her son had overheard this conversation.
 He delighted in the irony of it all!  How dare she try to take credit
for all the hard work he had put into his studies!  His achievements
were his and his alone!  He shouldn't have to wait until completing
his studies!  He should kill them both now and take control the
company starting the next business day!  But wait!  He had to make it
look like an accident!  And he had to wait until graduation when he
was sure his father would immediately proclaim him to be senior vice
president of Stork Enterprises!

 Indeed, it was within a week after his graduation that his father's
car was fished out of Net.ropolis river with his deceased parents
still fixed onto their seats by their seatbelt straps.  With his
parents dead, Toony Stork took full control of his father's company. 
Construction of the Legion of Net.Villains Headquarters began
immediately.  With the LNV having a power base in downtown
Net.ropolis, nobody, not even the newly formed Brotherhood of
Net.Heroes, could do anything to stop them.

 The Ultimate Emperor wondered if Toony Stork himself enjoyed the
irony of how most of the original members of the LNV died during the
power struggle that occurred following the murder of Rebel Yell.  The
assassin, the Ultimate Emperor himself, proclaimed himself as the new
leader of the LNV.  Not everybody was happy with the change in
leadership.  The halls of LNVHQ were washed in the blood of
Net.Villains as former allies turned on each other in support of
different candidates for the succession of leadership.  Eventually the
Ultimate Emperor emerged victorious with Deja Dude, one of his most
vocal adversaries, going into exile somewhere in the far east.
 
  Of course, he wasn't known as the Ultimate Emperor in those days. 
Back then he was the Ultimate Ninja!  He knew a hundred different ways
to kill a man before he'd even know he was under attack!  So many of
the Legion's enemies fell at his hands!  Lagneto!  Manga Man!  Table! 
Dr. Savefile!  The list went on and on!  As Marvel Zombie Lad had
predicted, no net.hero or group of net.heroes were able to challenge
the might of the LNV!

 The LNV ruled over Net.ropolis with an iron fist, their
Kirby.troopers acting as a first line of defense against any
individual or group who would seek to liberate the city from their
control!  In time, they grew bold enough to challenge the Loonited
States government directly, sending Kirby.troopers to Washing.net.gov
itself and leveling the White House with round of rocket fire!  With
the country in anarchy, Ultimate Ninja declared himself the Ultimate
President of the Loonited States of Ame.rec.a with the new capital to
be Net.ropolis itself.

   With the entire country under LNV control, the Ultimate President
plotted to take over the rest of the world as soon as possible!  The
enemies of the Loonited States, along with friends of the previous
administration, considered the possibility of a first strike.  The
plans didn't get far.  The sound of explosions rocked cities around
the world, but it wasn't the sound of bombs going off but rather the
sound of BOOM tubes opening up.  From out of the BOOM tubes came
hordes of Kirby.troopers.  The conquest of Looniearth was soon a
reality and the Ultimate President became the Ultimate Emperor!

 The Ultimate Emperor snapped out of his reverie when he noticed that
a significant portion of the Kirbian armada had turned around.

   "Lord Kirby!" he asked in a transmission directed 
at the lead ship.  "What is the meaning of this?  Why are you heading
back to Looniearth?"
  
 He didn't get a response until several minutes had passed, what with
the combined time for a transmission to reach the lead ship and then
for the response to make it back to LNVHQ.

 >>Mission complete, my liege!  We encountered minimal resistance! The
world is ours!<<
 "Why are you only sending an audio message?"
 >>Our communications are being affected by solar flares<< was the
reasonable response.

 The Ultimate Emperor recalled the advice of his 
old friend/adversary, Toony Stork. He said, "Never trust anyone or 
anything because nothing is how it seems."  He wondered for a moment
if Irony Man ever foresaw his own death or if, ironically enough, the
net.villain's irony detecting powers had failed when he needed them
the most.

 "Very well" was the Ultimate Emperor's response.  "Have a safe trip
home," he said and then immediately put the planet's defenses on high
alert.

 Irony Man probably would have enjoyed the irony of seeing LNVHQ 
invaded by a cadre of net.heroes arriving via BOOM tubes.  They had
apparently defeated the armada and had used the captured ships
themselves to bring them back to this world.

  "Surrender, Ultimate Emperor!" the Ultimate Soldier said.
  "Who dares?" the Ultimate Emperor asked.
  "We do!" Penultimate Ninja told him.
  "And who are you?"
  "We are you!" the Ultimate Soldier said as he took off his mask to 
reveal what the Ultimate Emperor saw to be his own face.
  "We both are!" Penultimate Ninja said, doing likewise.
  "What the heck is going on?" the Ultimate Emperor asked.  "Has the 
world gone mad?"

  Just then, as if on cue, everything went white.

  ***********

  A few minutes earlier, Excess was standing in her Fortress of 
Certitude, screaming in agony as she suffered along the pain of a
collapsing m.alt.iverse!

 "It's accelerating!  Worlds are colliding at a faster and faster
rate!  My powers are diminishing by the second!  There is only one
thing I can do!  If I guide the process rather than try to stop it! 
Perhaps I can create a single world from the ashes of the
m.alt.iverse!  A world in which all former realities can continue in
spirit!  A kind of... amalgamation of all of them.  Yes!  In such a
world I may remain powerful enough to oppose the Anti-Moderator!  It
is decided then!  I must act now!" she said.  "Damn it, Cousin Jerry
warned me that you start using silly name and words when you go
cosmic.  I didn't listen."

   It was then that all reality everywhere simply ceased to exist.

             TO BE CONTINUED?

___________________________________________________
Durf Girl belongs to Tom Russell.  The Cybernet characters,
Vel, Randy, Autumn, Blood Red and Jerome Gully created by Jesse N.
Willey.   Oddball LNH created by Ken Schmidt.  Society of Net.Heroes
created by Martin Phipps