[LNH] Young Lagneto #3

                                      Young Lagneto #3 -- Necessary Retcons

In the city of Utra.bit in Northern Thai.lan

 Eric Morova parked his jeep along the side of the road and walked up to 
the school where he worked.  He passed through the gate and across the 
courtyard and into the office where he worked.  His collegue, Dr. Sawatree, 
smiled at him and then produced an artifact that he immediately recognised 
to be from his past.
 "My helmet!" he said, not even trying to hide his astonishment.
 "Yes, I thought so," Dr. Sawatree said.
 "Where did you find it?"
 "I found it in a market in Bang.DOS," Dr. Sawatree told him.  "The man 
there didn't know what he had found.  Apparently it had washed ashore on the 
Thai coast and was assumed to be a plant   holder."  Dr. Sawatree turned the 
helmet upside down.
 Eric laughed.  "Ah yes!  I can see how someone might be confused.  Can I 
take a look?"
 "Of course!  It is yours after all!"
 Dr. Sawatree handed him the helmet and Eric took a look under it.  He 
smiled.  "It looks as though it is still working."
 "What is?"
 "I had a communication device installed in my helmet years ago back when 
I, as part of a cadre of net.villains, was plotting against the LNH. (During 
Acts of Violence in LNH #69-71 --Footnote Girl)
 "Who were you using it to communicate with?"
 "There were seven of us.  Myself, Mark Philips, wReamicus Maximus, Table, 
the Clueless Master, Tsar
Chasm and Acton Lord.  Actually, eight.  There was one who arrived late, Dr. 
Killfile."
 "Dr. Killfile?  The Dr. Killfile?"
 "So you've heard of him, even here in Thai.lan?"
 "He is infamous!"
 "Apparently.  Anyway, we were talking about how best to deal with the LNH. 
 Killfile had some unorthodox suggestions."
 "Such as?"
 "Well, to start with he asked, 'How about we just use a nuclear weapon?'
 "'Wouldn't that take out most of Net.ropolis along with the LNH?' Clueless 
Master asked.
 "'So?' Killfile asked.
 "'Oh sure,' Tsar Chasm said, sarcastically.  'Let's kill a few million 
people to get at the LNH.'
 "'Yes!' Killfile said, not picking up on the sarcasm.  'Do you think we 
can get access to one?'
 "'I don't know,' Tsar Chasm said.  'I'll check my pockets.  Hmm.  No.  
Maybe in my other pants.'
 "'I don't think we'll be using a nuclear weapon,' Table said, flatly.
 "'Alright then, how about a neuro-toxin?' Killfile asked.
 "'I don't think so,' Clueless Master told him.
 "'A biological agent?' Killfile suggested.
 "'I've had enough!' wReamicus Maximus proclaimed.  'Brother Mark!  Where 
did you find this loser?'
 "'I agree,' Table said.  'He doesn't belong here!'
 "'Is that so?' Killfile asked.  'Seems to me that you had a perfect 
opportunity to destroy the LNH back when you possessed both the Ring of 
Retcon and the Cosmic Plot Device!' (During the Cosmic Plot Device Caper 
--Footnote Girl)
 "'What?' I whispered to Acton Lord.  'I thought you told me it was the LNH 
who stole the Cosmic Plot Device!'
 "'Actually it was Y-Plex Burp who stole it from you and Table who stole it 
from him and the LNH who stole it from Table,' Acton Lord explained.
 "'But what you told me about the LNH stealing and destroying the Cosmic 
Plot Device was my motivation for joining you to destroy the LNH the last 
time!' I said. (An apparent reference to the Electrocutioner's Song 
--Footnote Girl)
 "'But it is true that the LNH destroyed the device!' he said.
 "Meanwhile, Table was still arguing with Killfile.  'And you had IT!' he 
said.  'You had IT which you said could destroy the LNH and what did you do 
with IT?  Nothing!'
 "'Gentlemen, please!' Mark Philips said.  'Let's not start arguing amongst 
ourselves all over again!  Please let us stick to the matter at hand!'
 "'Indeed!' Killfile said.  'How's this?  We highjack a jet airplane.  
Maybe two.'
 "'I can't get through airport security because I have wooden parts,' Table 
complained.
 "'It's alright!' Killfile said.  'We'll highjack the planes using 
boxcutters!  We will then pilot the airplanes ourselves and have them crash 
into LNH HQ!  Of course, Table, you will be able to bootyslide us out just 
in time so that we don't have to sacriface ourselves!'
 "My fellow net.villains were so appalled that they didn't know what to 
say.
 "Finally, I turned to Killfile and said, 'Doctor, do you mind if we step 
outside this room for a moment and discuss this matter privately for a 
while?'
 "'If you wish,' Killfile said complacently.
 "So what did you tell him?" Dr. Sawatree asked.
 "Actually I wasn't taking him outside to talk at all.  I just wanted to 
shut him up."
 "So what did you do?"
 "I hit him."
 "You hit him?"
 "A few times.  Actually I beat the crap out of him."  Eric hung his head 
in shame.  "I had trouble controlling my temper back in those days."
 Dr. Sawatree was shocked.  Eric had admitted to having been the 
net.villain known as Lagneto in the past but he found it hard to picture the 
man he saw before him now as actually being dangerous.  "So what did he say? 
 I mean, assuming he remained conscious, of course."
 Eric thought for a moment.  "Oddly enough he didn't seem angry with me."
 "Really?"
 "No.  He looked at me and tried to speak.  He said, 'I'm... I'm,' and then 
he spat out some blood.  He finally managed to say, 'I'm impressed!  Now you 
use that temper of yours against the LNH!'"
 "Wow.  He really said that?"
 "Yeah.  I felt really ashamed of myself.  Then I went back into the 
meeting room and said, 'Killfile won't be joining us.  He's feeling a bit 
under the weather.'  My fellow net.villains all looked pleased.  Acton Lord 
even gave me a friendly pat on the shoulder.  I started feeling much better 
about the whole situation.
 "'Right,' Table said, 'now let's discuss my plans for an assault on LNH 
HQ!'
 "It was up to me to take out the LNH's security system.  We thought I 
would be able to do that because they were based on computer sensors and my 
power, of course, makes computers run extremely slowly.  Alas, the LNH's 
security system was more sophisticated than we thought it would be and the 
alarms went off as soon as I acticvated my powers.  Apparently the security 
system was able to detect the presense of lagnetic fields and correctly 
interpretted it as an attack.
 "We had to move quickly.  Table bootyslided us all to different parts of 
the building.  I was sent to the flight.thingee bay.  I was just supposed to 
place everyone there in a lagnetic field and prevent them from joining the 
battle in the rest of the building.
 "The plan was simple enough, except one of the LNHers turned out to be a 
teleporter.  He could apparently disappear into another dimension and 
reappear where ever he wanted.  Thus he was immune to my power as he could 
move around the room at will and I couldn't stop him.
 "He was also capable of teleporting other people and things.  Appearing in 
front of me, the LNHer grabbed me before I could react and teleported us 
both out to the other side of the wall.  I was so disoriented by the trip 
that I didn't know where I was at first.  I wasn't even aware that we were 
falling not until I hit the ground with the LNHer on top of me.  When I woke 
up I was in prison, in chains."
 "Oh my goodness!" Dr. Sawatree said.
 "Yeah.  They offered me a choice: go to trial and face terrorism charges 
or plead guilty to the lesser charge of conspiracy and testify against the 
others.  Of course, I choose the latter.  I barely knew my fellow 
conspirators.  Apparently they all felt the same way because they all pled 
guitly to conspiracy.  In retrospect, that might have not been the best 
thing for them to do.  In my case, I got sent to a minimum security prison 
outside of Net.ropolis and it was easy enough for me to escape when I had 
the opportunity."
 "So you went back to being a net.villain?" Dr. Sawatree asked.
 "I did at first," Eric admitted.  "Then I tried to go straight for a while 
when I found out that my daughter, Aili, wanted to join the LNH and that she 
considered me an evil mutant terrorist.  Then I guess I went back to being a 
net.villain when I became the leader of the Brotherhood of Evil 
Net.Villains."  He sighed deeply.  "But that's all behind me now."
 "Let's hope so!" Dr. Sawtree said with a smile.  "Now, let's talk about 
our classes today..."

 THE END... for now, but Lagneto and his helmet are due to return in The 
Team #50 by Jesse Willey!

CREDITS

Table and Lagneto created by Jef Kolodziej
wReamicus Maximus created by wReam
Clueless Master created by Gary St. Lawrence
Tsar Chasm created by Ken Schmidt
Acton Lord created by Dave Van Domelan
Psykeye aka "Mark Philips" and Dr. Sawatree created by Martin Phipps
Dr. Killfile created by Steve Librande
Kid Chivalry created by Andre' Condon
Footnote Girl created by Saxon Brenton

Martin

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