[AMG][Fanfic] Only Human - Chapter Eleven

Past chapters of this story can be read at http://www.infinitedeferral.com/.
---
Only Human
An Ah! My Goddess Fanfic
By Roehl Sybing ([EMAIL PROTECTED])

Chapter Eleven: Bad Day

On their first run, they had beaten the fastest time by over a minute. 
Now they were trailing by fourteen seconds.

Belldandy, who had once been overwhelmed with fear, intimidation and
despair, sometimes all at the same time, felt none of those emotions
before her second and final run.

Someone had the upper hand on her, like never before.  Her advantage over
everyone else was quietly yet quickly taken away from her.  She was angry.
 Though Belldandy had no emotional attachment to any of the competitors in
the field, deep down her hope was that whoever led the pack would not be
within sight of her at the moment.

Keiichi didn't pay any attention, though.  He was working with his repair
crew on some last-minute modifications to the vehicle, and simply making
sure that they would be in top shape for the second run.  The rush of
adrenaline before an important race was familiar to him.  Often times he
would not know what to do with the intense feeling of anticipation and
excitement.  But today was race day, and the pressure fit Keiichi like
comfortable shoes.  His pace was a bit hurried and tensions were still
running high, but he remained calm despite everything.

A large, iron hammer dropped to the ground beside him, just as he relayed
final instructions to his fellow club members.  From the direction that it
was thrown, a violent storm centered around Belldandy.  And since she
didn't know what to do with herself as of late, taking her frustrations
out on a small but heavy object taken from a toolbox seemed like the right
thing to do.

"Belldandy--"

"I did everything right, I don't understand what happened!"

"Calm down, we have to get--"

"And I don't know how, but one way or another I'm going to--!"

"Belldandy!"

Keiichi planted his hands on her arms, trying to get her to stop.  She was
still fuming, but Belldandy always held herself in place for him.

"What do you want!?"

Time stood still at that moment.

"I'm sorry, Keiichi," Belldandy swiftly replied in her quietest voice, a
stark turnaround from the temper she was just carrying. "Did you want
something?" she asked quite calmly.

"I--uh--um--" stammered Keiichi. "I was just about to say that we have to
go now."

She looked at him blankly, "Really?" Taking a look over his shoulder, she
saw the vehicle all prepped and ready to go, flanked by most of the club
membership. "Well, I guess it's time then!" she replied, genuinely all
smiles.

Belldandy took Keiichi by the hand on that note, but he wouldn't budge, as
he reviewed in his mind what had just transpired.

"Don't worry, Keiichi," she said in a matter-of-fact tone, "I wore myself
out after I threw that hammer onto the ground."

"And after--?"

"Oh, that?  I didn't know what to do with myself, so I just pretended
angry.  I don't know now, but it seemed like the thing to do."

"Huh?"

"C'mon, we gotta get going!"
---
The crowd was at a fever pitch as Nekomi geared up for its final run
through the course.  The spectators were assured of a real treat, as the
competition saved its best for last.  With Keiichi and Belldandy piloting
the vehicle, the club was a certain lock to win it all.

Skuld knew better than that, and yet she still favored her elder sister. 
After twice getting in the way of the repair crew in between runs, she was
relegated to watching from a distance.  It didn't make any difference; she
loved to watch Belldandy race.  She loved to watch Belldandy do anything,
for that matter.  And whatever the circumstances, Skuld never discounted
her sister for a moment.  Belldandy was human, but, to Skuld, she was the
brightest, most promising human on the racegrounds.

"Aren't you going to watch?" she asked.

Urd replied, "In a moment!  I'm off to get the beer for everyone to
celebrate!"

Skuld looked at her sister in disgust, "How can you even think of missing
the race?"

"Well, we're going to win, aren't we?"

The goddess walked away shrugging her shoulders, despite all the pouting
her younger sister did behind her back.  Urd figured that she should be
watching in any case.  A million things could go wrong and the race was
hardly won at the moment.  And, as she had begrudgingly shown over the
past few days, she loved Belldandy more than anyone else that knew her. 
As a human, she was a whole new Belldandy, and yet quite the same
underneath all of her irrepressible emotions and unchecked behavior.  A
curiosity to others, perhaps, but a cause of grave concern to Urd, who
knew from past experience what it was like to be mortal, all vulnerable
and imperfect.  Still, her younger sister was right; Belldandy didn't need
any protection.  Whatever happens, she would deal with it.  Among other
things, she never lost her resolve.

And since they were going to win anyways, Urd felt the urgent compulsion
to break out the drinks.

She walked in front of and right past the Assistant.  And while trouble
swirled in a halo around the mysterious, grim messenger, the Assistant was
lost in her own little world, unconcerned with Belldandy's elder sister
for the moment.

The Assistant wasn't convinced.  At least that was what she told herself. 
But she had to remind herself every few moments that the whole proposition
of being part of the system was not about self-interest, but rather an
infinite concern and compassion for others.  And Belldandy walking around
as a human being, trying to pretend to be one of them.  It was bad enough
that a careless wish kept her anchored to the Earth and to a simple,
unremarkable mortal, but now she was exactly like them.  It angered her so
much, in fact,  that she just had to persuade the Almighty to send her
down to perform the inquiry.

Now things weren't so clear.  The Assistant had only been there for three
days, but while she hadn't yet caught on, she understood that there was a
certain...rustic appeal to being among humans.  She couldn't quite put her
finger on it, and until she understood it, she could maintain her
opposition to Belldandy's defiance.

In the meantime, though, the Assistant was quietly supporting her to win.
---
"I think, no matter what happens, you've all done very well," Keiichi said
to all, "We've built a great machine and we've ran a great race.  Party
back at the clubhouse tonight!"

The entire Nekomi delegation erupted in jubilation.  To Keiichi, it felt
good to get them going.  Belldandy had done it so often that, even as
leader, his only real responsibility over time was to just run the race.

"Well, that was the hard part," he said to Belldandy as they walked to the
vehicle.

"I suppose so."

"Well, you should.  You used to always have something helpful to say."

"Nah," Belldandy replied, shaking her head before donning her helmet, "Not
anymore.  I just want to ride."

Keiichi lowered her down into her seat.  She would not see him flash a
smile of agreement and sport a nod of the head as he settled himself into
the vehicle.
---
Slowly, they rolled the machine to the starting line, but long before
that, they were already feeling the hopes and support of the entire club
riding on their backs.  But the pressure didn't come from them.

Keiichi didn't know what had really transpired between Belldandy and the
Assistant.  To him, this was just another race to win, and he so loved to
win.  But to Belldandy, a great deal of pride, much more than in
competitions past, was on the line, and a lot of that came from showing up
another former goddess that thought very little of her recent decisions. 
She got a glimpse of the Assistant, who observed from afar.  The
expression on her face was a mystery.  Finding out if Belldandy had
convinced her would have to wait until after the race.  All the better,
she supposed.  The second run would give her one more chance to prove
herself worthy, without the benefit of being a goddess.  Never before had
she wanted to win so badly.

"Start!"

The couple took off, and by now, after a full day and a half of running
through the same course on the same vehicle, the second run was nothing
but a sure thing.  Keiichi and Belldandy were exhausted, at times
discouraged, and often in pain, either by physical fatigue or emotional
distress.  But they remained determined to finish what they had started,
and finish on top.

By the first few turns, Belldandy was grinning underneath her visor.  The
speed was up to Keiichi's discretion, but the turning was her
responsibility.  To her surprise, the curves were taken with nothing but
instinct, and the vehicle responded to her in perfect form.  For the first
time as a human, she felt the same way as when she raced as a goddess with
Keiichi.  The calculations of piloting the turns and straightaways were
second nature, and her reactions to the course, to the vehicle and to her
partner were quick and smooth.  With her mind off the the complications of
racing, Belldandy could now live in the moment.  The wind that whipped
across her body, the grip of the handlebars at the palms of her hands,
that feeling of exhilaration in the pit of her stomach, they all felt
good.  They were what riding under pressure used to be before her
transition.

"I'm going to win, Keiichi," she said underneath her helmet.

When Belldandy felt like this, she could take risks, worthwhile risks that
gave her an even better edge in this competition.  She knew where the
turns were and how sharp they were, and all of her fears were conquered. 
And when the giant curve more than halfway through the course was more
than beaten, Belldandy already felt as if the win was hers.  Now she was
determined to make it a grand performance for everyone to remember.

Much like everything else as of late, the experience was intense, but only
one thing she did that day was more exciting, or more satisfying, than
this.  Belldandy was enjoying herself, and when her newfound humanity made
such a feeling all the scarce, it became much more rewarding.  Save for
her beloved partner, she was doing it all by herself.  No tricks, no
magic, no special powers.  Nothing more than raw resolve and acquired
skill was needed to conquer the most complicated twists in the course.

The last bit of adversity left for Belldandy to face lay not with the
Assistant, or her sisters, or with anyone else.  Her heart beat profusely,
almost begging her to quit.  Belldandy couldn't stop now.  In her mind, to
her estimation, she had already beaten the clock, and there was not much
more to go.  But Belldandy had to finish.  The race was to be won by
crossing the finish line.  With four turns still left in the course, she
couldn't just put all of the burden on Keiichi.

Nonetheless, Belldandy was tired.  On the last major straightaway, she
tried to remember the order.  Left, left, right, left...or was it right,
right, left, right?  The first one would be just over a small hill, just
large enough to conceal what lay ahead.  Then she blinked twice, and
remembered an old trick.  The visor on Keiichi's helmet was dark, but not
dark enough to conceal his eyes.  They were looking away from her, a sign
that he anticipated a turn to the left.

But a turn to the right it was, when a blink of the eyes shifted his gaze
in Belldandy's direction.

She gasped out loud, even though it would not be heard above the sound of
the engine.  She had performed the turn with ease.  The rest of the order,
fitting a minimal pattern that Belldandy had memorized, fell into place
with great simplicity.

If she could wipe the sweat from her brow, she would.  The worst of it was
over.  Belldandy was ready to pounce on the victory.  A final burst of
speed from her partner as they rocketed over the finish line, and the race
was complete.
---
When it was over, Belldandy had collapsed into her seat.  The last of her
strength was reserved simply for breathing and whatever movements were
necessary for her not to fall into unconsciousness.  She was happy, but
she was tired.  Keiichi's voice echoed in her ears.

"Come on, now."

"A moment, Keiichi."

"Alright," he said somberly, "It was a good race, though."

"Yeah, it was."

Then she held her breath.

"What do you mean?"

Keiichi turned around, "Huh?"

"You said, 'It was a good race, though.' What do you mean?"

He was at a loss for words.  He thought that it could not have been more
obvious, so obvious that he felt he didn't need to break it to Belldandy
until now.

"I'm sorry, Bell," Keiichi said, "We didn't cut it."

He must've been mistaken, Belldandy thought.  Then she looked at the clock
above the leaderboard.  It read a peculiar sight.  She knew it must have
been wrong or someone had failed to properly keep time, because it was
more than a few seconds slower than their first run.
---
The clubhouse was open.  The refreshments were laid out.  The karaoke
machine was on.  Second place was such an unfamiliar position for the
Nekomi Motor Club that they didn't know what to do in case they hadn't
won.  And so the victory party went on as scheduled.

"It's time to party!" was the cheer, followed by fanfare and plenty of
drinking to go around.  The whole place was lit up for their usual
celebratory ritual, both for the new members among the university students
that had attended the race, and all the old members looking for an excuse
to party.  Almost everyone was in attendance; Sora was behind the
microphone, Chihiro had drawn herself into a drinking match with two other
members, while Urd was just plain getting drunk.

One certain club member, on the other hand, made herself scarce shortly
after the festivities had begun.
---
"Belldandy?" Keiichi said, sitting next to her on the bench outside the
clubhouse.

She looked at him blankly. "I'm sorry," Belldandy said, "I'm not really in
the mood for a party."

"Don't be silly, everyone's in there.  They're all waiting for you."

"Hmph, what could they possibly want for me after today?"

"Belldandy, please don't look like that--Belldandy!  Where are you going?"

"I just need to be alone for awhile, that's all."

"But it's dark and cold out here," he said, making her stop, "Say, why
don't the two of us go home early, what do you think?"

She walked around in circles, going over in her head what might have gone
wrong.

"I had that race nailed, Keiichi.  That course was mine."

"I know it was, Bell.  It happens sometimes."

"Not to me, it doesn't!" she retorted, as the fire in her eyes remained
long after the race was over.  Fortunately for Keiichi, the burning anger
had left her, leaving only a sense of deep determination even after the
battle had been lost.

Belldandy bit her lip, and said softly, "I know I can still do it."

It was then that Keiichi stood up to her, "Belldandy.  It's time to go
inside.  There will be other races.  Really!"

She looked at his smiling face.  She never doubted his sincerity, and
despite any desire to do as she wanted, she could never refuse him. 
Belldandy nodded her head slightly, and followed him back into the
clubhouse.
---
The door closed behind Belldandy, and for a brief moment she put away her
frustration when the entire clubhouse lit up when it became known that she
was in the room.  Streamers and confetti filled the air, regardless of the
result, simply because she and Keiichi were their best chance at victory,
and no one would ever come close to their performances in any competition.

Conciliatory words met Belldandy as they made their way across the room.

"You'll do better next time!"

"You did your best!"

"Don't worry about it, it was a good race!"

It irritated her.  Not the people that said it, but that the result she
put up on behalf of Keiichi and the club compelled her to hear what she
didn't want to hear.  Still, Belldandy feigned a smile.  She was so
deflated after such bitter disappointment that she did not feel at all
well inside, causing her to sit down at one table.

"Do you want something to drink?" Keiichi asked.

Her smile was gone by the time of his question.  Belldandy clutched her
hair, and shook her head, "Thank you.  I'll get something if I need it."

"Alright," he replied, sitting down next to her.  And while the music
played on, they remained silent to each other, as one searched for the
right words to say, and the other, by saying nothing and intending to say
nothing at all, declined to be the least bit diplomatic.  In the meantime,
Keiichi was sizing up just how big the loss was to Belldandy.

"Big Sister!" a voice called out from among the small crowd.  Once she was
seen, Skuld led Chihiro by the hand to Belldandy and Keiichi.  Sure
enough, Skuld felt just like her elder sister. "How can anyone party at a
time like this?"

"It's alright, Skuld.  Let them," Belldandy replied tersely.  Her eyes
remained pointed to the ground.

"So how are you doing?" Chihiro asked, "First loss is always the toughest,
I figure."

"Well, now I know how it feels."

Keiichi spoke up, "I've been trying to tell her that she did her best back
there."

"Yes, I know," she snapped, "I just don't have to like it, that's all."

The four of them remained in place.  Seeing how it couldn't possibly be
Belldandy who stepped over the line, the rest wondered who among them was
the culprit with the ill-timed remark.

"Why don't you come with me," Chihiro said to Skuld, "Let's go get you
some dessert or something."

Skuld resisted, "But what about Sis--"

"Just follow me, kid."

"Hey, I'm not a ki--!"

"Skuld!"

Belldandy, ready to fire, stopped herself in her tracks.  Though she was
quite agitated, a directive, reinforced over the last few days, repeated
in the back of her mind.  Don't snap at Skuld.  Ever.

"Please go with Chihiro for awhile," she said softly, "I'll find you later."

The youngest of the four looked at Chihiro, then at Belldandy.  She
complied reluctantly as she was taken by the hand.

"Oh, Keiichi," Chihiro said, "There are a couple of students up front that
want to become members.  Could you please make sure they're signed up?"

Keiichi nodded, "Sure."

Then looking to Belldandy, "You'll stay here?"

"Mm-hmm."

Left by herself, she took a cup of water that was within reach from where
she sat.  Belldandy coddled the drink for awhile.  She was not angry.  And
she didn't have any tears.  In her mind, she was going over her strategy
during the race.  She was not fast enough, and it wasn't even Keiichi's
fault.  Her turns had to be sharper, simply as that.  Once then, she knew
that she could duplicate and even improve on her initial run.  If she were
not so tired at this point, she would have done so with Keiichi's
motorcycle.

"May I?"

Belldandy looked up, only to see the Assistant standing across the table
from her.

"Those are the clothes of an Earther," Belldandy said, examining her
casual dress taken on to blend in with everyone else, "They don't suit
you."

"All the kindness in the universe, Belldandy.  Is there none for me?" the
Assistant asked, seating herself.

"I'm sorry, I was trying my hand at humor.  What could you possibly want?"
she said curtly.

The Assistant sighed.  She said genuinely, "I don't want to fight."

"Well, that's a relief."

"I just wanted to say...you ran a very good race."

Begrudgingly, Belldandy nodded her head, "Thank you."

"But it's over."

"Like my Keiichi said, there will be other races."

"No, I mean, it's over.  I have made my final recommendation to the
Almighty.  I didn't want to inform you until after you've won, but now..."

She stopped in mid-sentence, as if the next word would take her over a
precipice and into a very deep hole.  She knew it was her job, but never
before had she resented it as she did now.  Belldandy was right, but the
Assistant had an inquiry to finish.

They looked at each other, one uncertain and uneasy about what was to be
said by the other.

"Please, just say it."

The Assistant exhaled, reluctant to get it done with. "Very well," she
said finally underneath the music, "Goddess First Class Belldandy, I am
ordering you to undergo the reversal in three days.  I must have your
decision in two.  Failure to comply will result in the unconditional
cancellation of your license."

Nothing that she hadn't heard already, Belldandy thought.  She was quite
willing to break with it all; perhaps less so at the moment because of the
competition, but she remained quite adamant about what she wanted.

"I thought you understood," Belldandy said.

The Assistant leaned in closer to her. "Belldandy," she replied, "There's
more."

Belldandy looked up at her.

"Whether you remain human or become a goddess again is up to you, but in
seventy-two hours I am recalling your sisters in either event.  This will
be a permanent transfer."

Her face fell again.  Belldandy turned away, trying to piece it all
together.  It was too much to take in at once.  She shook her head, and
said with a taint of vengeance on her lips, "I'll fight you."

"You can't," the Assistant replied blankly, "I speak for the Almighty.  My
authority is absolute.  I admit, this has not been an easy case for me to
decide, but this is the best solution for everyone.  Your sisters' recalls
are mandatory.  I am giving you three days to put your affairs in order."

The room was silent for both of them.  Belldandy was devastated.

"Of course, the only way you can ever return to the heavens and see them
again...is if you end this and renounce your humanity."

That, of course, became the last insult.  Belldandy shot up like a dart,
as the party music filled the clubhouse once again. "Not if I have
anything to say about it," she said, walking past the Assistant and
storming out of the clubhouse.
---
The outside air was a bit thinner, all of a sudden.  Belldandy couldn't
breathe.  She was being forced to do that which she refused to do.  One
way or another, this was a punishment.  She was absolutely sure that they
would not let her remain as she was now.  And in any case, she would lose
her sisters in the process.  When faced with circumstances such as these,
it was difficult for Belldandy to be what she was taught to be.  She had
every right now to be irrational and emotional about her situation.

Keiichi was too busy to talk at the moment.  There was only other one
thing in the world that could distract her and take her mind off of her
troubles.
---
Keiichi had long since delegated the new membership duties to Sora.  Now
he was making sure that everyone was having a good time.  He kept a sharp
eye out, though.  The Assistant, for one, and Urd, just to make sure she's
not causing more than the usual amount of chaos.  Chihiro had found Skuld
some ice cream, so that was at least one less worry in the mix.

This was a party, of course.  Everyone was having a good time, and that
was all that matters.  It was a difficult field of competitors to contend
with, Keiichi thought, and he couldn't win them all.  Underestimating her
reaction to the loss, he had hoped that the party would lift Belldandy's
spirits.

Where was Belldandy?  He asked himself the question a few times as the
sound of screeching tires came before a loud crash that shook even the
walls of the clubhouse.
---
It was a simple enough mistake.  She didn't intend it at all.  Belldandy
had turned too sharply.  She wanted to prove it to herself that she was
worthy, but more importantly, she just wanted to get one last twinge of
excitement up her spine, seeing as how moments like these were, all of a
sudden, running out.  But she had turned too sharply, and only the markers
and traffic cones on the test course remained, having had all of the
safety barriers taken away by sunset.

The motorcycle lay a bit of a distance from her.  Much similar to the
bike, Belldandy lay flat on the ground, arms spread out and her left foot
moving back and forth, just so that she could be sure that she could move
it at all.  It was difficult for her to breathe.  And it had become so
cold all of a sudden.

"So tired," Belldandy said, struggling mightily to cry for help as she
inevitably drifted into unconsciousness.

TO BE CONTINUED.
---
Roehl Sybing - (917) 741-5355
infiniteDeferral - http://www.infinitedeferral.com/