[BotP][FanFic] Collateral Damage

Collateral Damage

Written By
Mark Moore
[EMAIL PROTECTED]


Author's Note: This fic takes place after Issue #9 in the Image BotP
universe. It's a letter in the first-person. I wrote the first draft of
this fic on Wednesday, May 21, 2003, from 10:20 PM to 11:59 PM. I wrote
the final draft on Thursday, May 22, 2003, from 10:20 PM to 11:49 PM and
on Saturday, May 24, 2003, from 9:30 PM to 9:31 PM. Thank you to Wendy
Dinsmore for her compliments and suggestions. Comments and questions are
welcome.


"Sometimes I just can't fucking cope, 'cause you take me for a ride. You
teach me to be blind. You infiltrate my eyes. Is this wrong or right?"

- Kari Wuhrer, "Can't Cope"


Collateral: n. something given as additional security for a loan.

Damage: n. hurt; harm; injury; loss. - v.t. hurt; injure.

I didn't know how else to start this letter. It's been quite a day. G-2
and I were on a rooftop, where a lot of people that had been brainwashed
by Spectra were attacking us. The mind-control virus wore off. Everyone
was confused. Spectra soldiers attacked us. G-2 was shot while saving a
little boy. The kid must have been so frightened, not knowing where he was
and seeing people shooting.

G-2, limping, set the boy down behind us. I supported my teammate with my
Left arm. We were outnumbered, and I knew it. While casually talking with
G-2, I tossed three bombs over my right shoulder, and they detonated. The
blast killed everyone behind us: the Spectra soldiers - and the little
boy.

Did I know? That is the question; isn't it? The truth is that I did. This
wasn't like some stupid animated series or comic book; where everything is
clearly Good or Evil, slickly packaged, and presented for children to take
in with their after-school snacks; where people can put themselves in
danger for fun, never getting really hurt; and where the heroes encounter
threats, kick ass, and enjoy their victories with inconceivable
redundancy. This was war. There was a high probability that I was going to
get killed. I knew that G-2 had risked his life to save that boy. I saw
where G-2 had placed him. I didn't care. I killed him without hesitation.

And I'm fine with it.

Cold-blooded: adj. deliberate; unsympathetic; cruel.

That isn't what you'd call me; is it? Yes, it was deliberate, but I'd like
to think that I had sympathy for that little boy in the few seconds before
I ended his life. I can't remember feeling it, but it had to have been
there. Right? Cruel? Such isn't me! That is not the real me!

Oh, who am I kidding? Yes, it is. It's exactly who I am. I could have
restrained myself and at least given those innocent people a chance to
save themselves - no matter how small. So, why'd I do it? I wanted to
live. I didn't care who I killed. I wanted to live, I wanted G-2 to live,
and everyone else could just go to Hell.

How long until I get there? How long until I have to pay back my loan?

I killed one of the very people that I was there to protect. I was cool,
unflinching, callous.

And I'm fine with it.

How did I get this way? I suppose that I could blame my teammates, but
they didn't do this. In fact, until today, if someone would have told me
to do this, I would have been appalled. No, this came from within myself.
I'm responsible for my own actions. If I hadn't been in such a desperate
situation, I wouldn't have realized that I was capable of
this...collateral damage. I stare at the cold glass and blame her.

G-2 followed my example, killing off more people. It was the perfect
solution. If you can't save them, kill them.

We jumped off the roof and onto the Phoenix. Everything worked out for the
best in the end. I played my guitar and sang. We're safe. That's all that
matters. Right?

I hope that you're proud of the person that I've become. You may not
approve of it, but I hope that you at least understand it, mom. Writing
these letters to you has been good for me since you died. I hope you love
me.

But if you hate me, I'm fine with it.

The End