Mr Operations

Just a little something for your enjoyment...

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Twas a dark and stormy afternoon, and all through the state,
every CityRail service was running indefinitely late.

CityRail kept apologising for the inconvience that they had caused,
while out on the track, a driver had suddenly paused.

His train was already significantly late, but onwards he had pressed,
when he noticed an obstruction ahead, and became quite distressed.

Unfortunately the brakes were bad, and before the train could stop,
a collision with the object was had, crunching metal all over the shop.

So he made a risk assessment, and using his discretion,
he called up Operations Control, to have a little bit of a session.

After conveying all the facts and details of the situation at hand,
the Operations control officer came out with something grand:

"TJF TJF, Snafu Snafu!
 My name is Mr Operations, and I don't give a poo.

 You run that train on time, you pawny driver git.
 So what if your train has had a collision? I don't give a shit!"

To this the driver sighed, and sat for a while in contemplation,
when he realised that, fortuntely, his train had stopped near to a station.

A plan was formed in his mind, to get away from the calamity,
an evil plan it certainly was, but not one founded on profanity.

So the driver mustered up some courage, and pressed the PTT button with a smile,
taking one long deep breath, which he held in his lungs for a while:

"So please let me get this straight, to save us having a marathon debate,
 you are telling me to move my train, even though it's hit a crane...

 I'm fed up with all the focus, on so-called on-time-running hocus pocus,
 while we put up with our bosses, concentrating on reducing their losses!

 I'm stabling this train right here, and heading over to the pub to have a beer.
 When someone turns up to help me out, send them over to give me a shout!"

And so the driver ended the call, and told the guard he was going for a beer,
as his future was set, and he knew his conscience was clear.

Why should he put up with abuse, from an operations controller who is a goose,
who can't seem to grasp basic fact, that a train has suffered an injurious act.

He had done his job with due care, ensuring he followed all the rules
yet he'd struck an Operations Controller, who seemed to treat drivers as fools.

So off the driver went, over to the nearest pub for a beer,
looking forward to answering the bung, once an Inspector dared come near! ...

---

I've had part of that hanging around in my mobile phone as a cheeky SMS
message for ages... Felt inspired to finally finish is off!

Craig.
--
  Craig Dewick - http://lios.apana.org.au/~craigd - [EMAIL PROTECTED]
      Professional train driver (CityRail) and HO scale railway modeller
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