Re: Kids should work...

On 3 Dec 2003 14:33:17 GMT, Ignoramus11065
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

>So, if a child learns that actions have consequences, that 
>would help him think forward a little bit as they grow up.

Good grief.  Children learn that actions have consequences
without any intervention by other humans.  When a child
drops something breakable, it breaks and the child learns
that the action of dropping it had a consequence.  When 
she doesn't eat, she gets hungry, so she learns that the 
consequence of not eating is hunger.  When he doesn't 
go to bed, he gets tired and grumpy, so he learns that the 
consequence of not sleeping is being tired the next day.  
When she doesn't  wear her mittens, her hands get cold, 
so she learns that she needs to wear her mittens in the 
future.  If he is late to school, the teacher may make him 
stay after school or he may lose recess time or be 
punished in some other way, so he learns that he will be 
punished by authorities for certain actions. Some natural 
consequences are, of course, too dangerous and parents 
try to prevent the child from experiencing those, but 
children certainly still learn pretty quickly that actions do 
have consequences.  

Punishment expresses the power of personal authority. 
Punishment is rarely related to misbehavior.   
Punishment tells the child he or she is bad. 
Punishment focuses on what is past. 
Punishment is associated with a threat, either open or 
concealed. 
Punishment demands obedience. 

Positive parenting focuses on the social order.  It doesn't 
judge the child to be bad, but condemns the action without
condemning the child.  And positive parenting allows the 
child choices so that s/he can begin to make his or her 
own moral judgements about actions.  Positive parenting 
places the child in charge of his or her own behavior and 
requires him or her to be responsible for what s/he does.



Many of us still struggle with the idea that unless we MAKE our kids
do things they will never do anything good but just be bad, lazy,
horrible people.  It's simply not true.  Kids want to be responsible,
loving, caring people and we need to encourage that but not to 
disrupt their natural growth process.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits