Re: Re: Character of a growing girl (middle school question)

Colleen wrote:

>I think you have to wait and see what happens when the time is right.

The time is pretty much between now and a year from now. I don't think that
starting the thought process a year earlier is a bad idea.


>I don't think there is any real split between public and private
>school.  The bigger difference is between schools, irregardless of
>funding.

I agree with you, in theory. My public middle school choice is basically akin
to an inner city school, with all the problems that can entail. The academics
or weakness of the school aren't the biggest issue, although they are a part of
it. If my daughter got into the highest gifted program, the academics *might*
outweigh the other issues. Might.

>At a private school, the kids might be snobbish and exclusionary. 

They might be, in your basic private school -- but the private school I'm
looking at basically selects against that. Almost forty percent of the girls
are receiving up to 90 percent of the cost of tuition in financial aid.
Snobbishness won't be an issue -- unless there's reverse snobbism against the
kids whose parents pay there way. I have some concern about that, actually.

>But the school isn't necessarily the only issue.  If you have concerns
>about self-esteem, then perhaps now is the time to start her in
>activities outside school that will build competence and self-esteem. 
>Perhaps dance, or music, or karate, or girl scouts.  My church has a
>wonderful program for girls 12-18 which has made a big difference in
>our girls' lives.

I agree with you wholeheartedly. My daughter is in Girl Scouts, and she sings
in her school choir. I've thought about introducing her to some other
activities, including yoga and drama. And you are right, these things do help.
Especially her school choir --- the woman who leads it is a true dynamo.

My daughter's self-esteem is at the moment is pretty good, though she suffers
from some perfectionistic issues. And it can be hard being a "gifted kid" in a
regular school environment. But she's not quite nine yet. Studies have
suggested that keeping girl's self-esteem shored up in middle school is a much
harder prospect. A large part of the vision of the private middle school (an
all-girls school) is to do just that. As parents to The Kid, we need to weigh a
lot of variables and decide where to send our daughter. We still have a year to
decide, and I've really appreciated hearing people's perspectives, yours
included.

Thanks for responding.

beeswing