Re: Character of a growing girl (middle school question)

"Colleen Porter" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote in message
news:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> [EMAIL PROTECTED] (beeswing) wrote in message
news:<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>...
> > My daughter is almost 9, and she's an only. My only experience with
"middle
> > school" is having gone to public junior high myself. And I remember
those years
> > as being fairly miserable, though it wasn't all attributable to
school-related
> > issues. I'd like my daughter to have a better experience than I did.
>
> I think you have to wait and see what happens when the time is right.
>
> I don't think there is any real split between public and private
> school.  The bigger difference is between schools, irregardless of
> funding.

> Yes, middle school is a horrible time for lots of kids, including
> mine.  I've said before that if I could only spend five years at home
> with a child fulltime, I would choose the first year of life, the
> middle school years, and the senior year of high school.
>
> But the schood isn't necessarily the only issue.  If you have concerns
> about self-esteem, then perhaps now is the time to start her in
> activities outside school that will build competence and self-esteem.
> Perhaps dance, or music, or karate, or girl scouts.  My church has a
> wonderful program for girls 12-18 which has made a big difference in
> our girls' lives.

My daughter is now a Freshman in high school.  Yep, the junior
high years were somewhat tough.  Groups of friends split, and
resplit, and resplit, leaving crushed souls strewn everywhere.
But it wasn't just public school.  My daughter got more into
her dance friends, and lo and behold, the same thing was
happening at other public schools, private schools, all girl
private schools, and with even home schooled kids.  I
talked to my fellow moms and found even those so called
popular girls were having the same self doubts and
travails. Yep, those are tough years. Luckily, her dance
school started competing.  She got lots of props and
awards.  And made lots of friend outside school.
As junior high in our district was only 7th and 8th
grades it flew by quickly.  And in high school there is
room for every type of kid.  Elementary school friends
that dropped her in junior high now walk to school with
her again.  All their unique talents are cool again.

I would echo Colleen's comments, find something outside
school that will help build self confidence.  My daughter
had dance, others had athletic endeavors. (Club teams, the
school teams just extended the petty bickering that started at
school.  Not to mention getting cut in front of your class mates
was pretty brutal.) Horses were also a big hit amongst the
junior high girls.  And if you can make it shorter versus
longer (two years instead of four) it helps.  I only remember
one year of the junior high catty girls, and that was because
we were in elementary school through 8th grade where I
went to school.