Character of a growing girl (middle school question)

I posted this question in the financial aid thread, but I'd really like to
discuss it further. Could anyone please give me some input on this?

<< If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education
*OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da
heck does one decide, anyway. Either? Both, with the hope of a windfall? What
makes the biggest difference to the character of a growing girl? >>

My daughter is almost 9, and she's an only. My only experience with "middle
school" is having gone to public junior high myself. And I remember those years
as being fairly miserable, though it wasn't all attributable to school-related
issues. I'd like my daughter to have a better experience than I did.

beeswing