Re: Bad Faith Marriage

nice...well...good luck to you as well...and it was rather obvious that you
didn't see the fact that we've been in a committed long distance relationship
for OVER ONE.... YESSSS ONE YEAR NOW...we were together in person for a meager
35 days, as you put it....so...granted, the majority of our relationship has
been online and over the telephone, the parallels of being involved in a long
distance "online" telephone relationships as compared to having one in person...
the only difference, is not being able to smell or touch the other person...the
commitment is still the same, if not, even more of the effort has to be put in,
because when your involved in an "online" long distance relationship, the TRUST,
SECURITY and the COMMUNICATION portion of the relationship has to be even more
so solid and fluid.  Also, might I add, the amount of time spent together online
or on the telephone, is still the same as it would be in person.  We tell
eachother about our day, We play games online with one another, we surf the web,
hell we've even watched movies together, and ate dinner together, listening via
the telephone, trying to decipher what was said between gulping and munching. Do
you spend time with your spouse, in person 24/7?  I bet you don't, not unless
your a control freak.

oh might I add, both of our families and friends know about our relationship?
Gosh my bf even spent Thanksgiving here, with my entire family...oh wowee!  And
I'm going down to be with his family in May for my bf's birthday, and they all
see it as genuine and bona fide...Christ, every situation is different, be it
you've only known someone for a week and get married and spend a life time
together...or you've known someone for years upon years, only to get a divorce
down the road....who are u to judge...I know I never would.

Also...might I add, I am soooooo not looking at this through rose coloured
glasses...believe you me...If my bf and I did live in the same country...we
probably would of been married by now.  Because of the potential consequences
with Immigration, we haven't decided if we want to do this, yet...We've only
talked about it, and we are discussing it, and putting out our questions on the
subject.  I have thought this out thoroughly, and so has my partner, and with
caution, we are not  morons.  All relationships are work in progress...be it in
person or online or through a bloody astral plane, and it's up to the two people
involved to make it work, regardless of their relationship boundaries and
circumstances.

Also..in regards to your "BAD FAITH" comments was mearly quoting a web site I
read on the subject of people who DO marry in bad faith situations for
immigration purpose, my bf and I surely to hell won't be, but we are taking into
consideration that there could be a chance that immigration canada could
possibly see it that way.  (might I add he's a bona fide, born and raised
W.A.S.P American Citizen, not to sound as a racist, but it is a fact that
Immigration Canada would look more poorly on a situation if the person being
sponsored was from a country that doesn't have the abundance in wealth that the
U.S does and needs and/or wants to get out of their country due to what ever the
situation that is making them want to or have to leave... that is taken from a
statement, from an actually Canadian Immigration Consultant when I asked these
questions)

Unfortunately, in my bf and I's case, we do live on the same continent, but
there is a border barrier.  All we want to do is start our life journey
together, like normal couples do,  we've waited long enough.  So, due to the
fact that we can't "legally" reside together for a long period of time here as
just bf and gf like normal couples do in and then decided to get married after
living together for a long period of time, which  in that case we could consider
claiming ourselves as common law even with out getting married,   we have been
thinking to get married sooner than the later, because this long distance
relationship is expensive and hurts to be away from one another for long periods
of time.  I think with the amount of EVIDENCE  we have been collecting over the
last year, with telephone bills, text messaging, emails,  photographs, written
testimony from family and friends stating we are committed to one another, Joint
names on the Apartment lease, hydro bill, health benefits...etc..why am I
explaining myself to this joker here? Dude, you just don't even know half of
what my bf and I have been through as a couple for you to even put out your
energy out here to make a "political statistical statement" and reply back.


"http://www.iamnotamerican.com"; wrote:

> in a recent article, elaine ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) said:
>
> > Also, with that, does Canadian Immigration take into consideration how
> > we got married, ie...a huge ceremony, family member's present etc...or
> > do they really care?  We can only afford to have a civil ceremony with a
> > couple of friends present as witnesses, with no reception, but we do
> > have plans to have a "bigger" ceremony with family members and a
> > reception, when we have more money saved to have one.
>
>     Disclaimer:  It's politically correct these days to tell the truth, but
> I never was politically correct...so I say it as I see it.  Here 'goes....
>
>     When you're married, your married, but as any relationship expert (and
> psychologist) would ask...why the rush.  You've spent a total of 35 days
> with each other (5 weeks @ 7 days/wk), and now you want to get married?
> While I'm sure you'll say you're totally in love and that you're
> 'different', marrying someone you've known for 35 days is statistically
> bound to come crashing and burning.  And you will be responsible for this
> person for a number of years, because you sponsored them.
>
>     You're looking at this through glasses that are VERY rose-coloured right
> now, but you must sit back and look at it realistically.  You refer to a
> marriage in BAD FAITH yourself.  If you know it, then why do it?  If you're
> truly in love, then why not actually develop the relationship, rather jump
> into something you will most likely regret later?
>
>     You will be required to establish your relationship and 35 days of
> 'together' time is going to raise a number of major red flags, and your own
> mentality that is a bad faith wedding will cause the whole immigration thing
> to collapse, because immigration will pick up on that...and you won't be
> able to sponsor him at all.
>
>     Oh...one more thing.  These 'friends' who will be coming to the civil
> ceremony?  I'd dump them as friends if I were in your situation, because
> they're not serving their role as friends too well.  If they were true
> friends, they would be telling you to give your head a shake and saying what
> I'm saying, because you're getting yourself into a situation you will
> statistically and legally regret later.  All because you're 'in love'.
>
>     I wish you good luck in your relationship, but entering what is, in your
> own words, a bad-faith marriage after just 35 days of together time is
> ridiculous.  If you do that, I can only pray that you get caught and the
> immigration dept throws the book at you.
>
>     If you are truly in love (as opposed to infatuation or hormones), you
> certainly should be able to wait longer and make SURE you're prepared to
> marry.  I know I did.
>
>     Good luck, and may the truth be with you.
>
> --
> Say "I am not American" in TWELVE languages.
> The original "I am not American" T-shirts - as seen on CNN
> Only at http://www.iamnotamerican.com .
>
> View 16 NEW designs and a full range of merchandise.
> http://www.iamnotamerican.com
>
> Remove uppercase letters from Email address to reply.