Re: Taters, Pills & Blarney: Eat 'Em, SHOVE 'Em, Eat 'Em AGAIN

On 9 Nov 2003 09:13:49 -0800, [EMAIL PROTECTED]
(HellPopeHuey) wrote in
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>:


[...]
>  I was up on a Saturday morning, stumbling around like a cartoon
>zombie -EEUUUANGHHUHNNHH!!!- and trying to get the starter rope pulled
>on m'brain, which is no small feat for a man who rarely imbibes
>coffee. 

Well that right there is the root of your problem!

It also has cancer fighting properties.

Like chocolate; another sorely undervalued health food.

>For some dark reason, probably an incipient brain lesion, I
>had the TV on CBS's "All Too Damned PERKY In The Morning Show,"

Clearly a caffeine and chocolate deficiency going on here.

>wherein I was treated to a bizarre juxtapositioning of ads. First, I
>beheld the gleefully animated spot for the acid reflux pill Nexium,
>replete with computer graphics of your innards, including places in
>your esophagus that were being worn away, largely by your nasty eating
>habits. Right on the heels of that, the delights of bite-sized
>cheesecake or some other sort of deliciously sinful goo...."Nobody
>doesn't like Sara Lee!" Presumably even right after their esophagus
>has been worn to a thin, inflamed layer by all the gorging they did to
>get in such shape to begin with. 

Of course, a *chocolate* cheesecake would eliminate that problem.

>Yep, cram it in there, balloon up to
>400 pounds, start gacking it back up because your stomach has been
>pushed to 20% past its rated overpressure and then take pricey pills
>to combat the results. 

Now see, you just can't *do* that with chocolate cheesecake.  You'll
puke LONG before reaching capacity, and coffee has no calories if you
drink it straight and don't dilute it with sugar and/or cream.

Chocolate, of course, would be a beneficial additive.

[...]
> For instance, while I myself am a dedicated proponent of fornicating
>as if you're life DEPENDED on it 

..which *also* is better with chocolate...

[watching the boob tube]
> Second, it helps to feed my quotation collecting hobby. There are
>some awesome specimens to be had. Why, some don't even make you run
>from the room holding your nose.

Indeed.  "Sex robots get more use than most people know."  Spike said
so on Angel Wednesday night.

Something for everyone to add to their List of Must Haves.

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