Re: What makes a person successful?

You asked one of the most interesting questions.

I've had the good fortune to work with a great number of people - perhaps
several thousand - in helping them answer that question.

To me, the key issue is this: What do YOU define as success?

It is difficult to visualize something - a life situation - you haven't seen
before, and so most of us are "stuck" with some image of the life we want
based on what we've already seen.

To aid myself, and the people I've worked with, I wrote a definition of a
human life, one that provides a checklist of the major activities in a human
life. So far, it's been used to describe the lives of a wide variety of
people, from an Australian aborigine, to an entrepreneur in San Jose, an
artist in Paris, a surgeon at a prominent teaching hospital (who re-defined
his own image of a successful life, and now has chosen to operate a marina),
housewives, college students, teenagers.

(There is an answer to your question in here. Like the little boy said when
he was observed shoveling a pile of horse manure... "there's gotta be a pony
in here somewhere.")

The elements of that description are:

Family...                          the activities and interactions you have
with your family
Friends                           the activities and interactions you have
with your friends
Spouse                           the characteristics and activites you have
with a significant other
Living Environment -     the characteristics of where and how you want to
live
Working Environment - the characteristics of and requirements for the job
that pays for it all
Spirituality                      your belief system, and how it enables and
empowers you
Culture                            the politics, attitudes, beliefs, and
interactions of where you live
You                                  Your own program of life, development,
growth, self-care

In each of these areas, there are about 12 categories of information used in
the description.

Now (finally): a suggested definition for "success"

To me, and to the many people I've worked with, "success" means "defining
your life the way YOU want it to be, and implementing that definition."

To achieve that success, you can define the life you want in all 8 of the
areas listed above, and systematically, over time, implement that life. When
you get far enough along your path, you can declare that you have achieved
"success".

Is this self-centered? Of course it is.

Does it include others, such as Family, Spouse, Friends? Of course it does -
and you can write those definitions any way you want to, ranging from "I
choose to do what my family wants", to "I choose to work to improve my
relationship with my family by improving the communication style between
us"... you get the idea.

Does it take reality into account? Yes, it does. The "Working Environment"
definition really says "add up the cost of all the other parts of life you
want to implement. Whatever that cost is, the Working Environment has to pay
for it. And, the environment also must fall within guidelines you select as
being OK for you. And, once you find out how much money you'll need to live,
there's the issue of the training, education, and experience you'll need to
achieve that level of income."

Do I really believe in this stuff myself?  I do this process on myself about
every 6 months, just to see where I am. If there's any adjustments to make,
I make them. This isn't cast in stone. I found my wife as a result of
putting myself where I was happiest, and she found me there. She and I are
in the process of selling our home in San Diego, giving the furniture to a
children's shelter, and moving to Costa Rica to start a B&B, allowing her
more time for her art, and me more time to write books and music and to
continue my consulting and coaching from the internet.

To over-simplify: To me, success means implementing the life of YOUR
choosing.
You can see more detail at http://www.newspiritpub.com
If you're curious, my wife's art starts at http://www.thumbprintsart.com

Best wishes in your life.

Barry Stevens
San Diego, California (for now)
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
  (remove the NOSPAM to use this address)













-- 
Barry Stevens
619-697-1610
"rissa" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote in message
news:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> I am a senior in college who will be graduating in Dec 2003  I plan to
> go into the business world and I find myself pondering on what makes a
> person successful in life.  I have narrowed it down to three key
> things.  Having the right attitude, the right skills and setting goals
> in life. Can anyone add to this or does anyone have a different idea
> of what makes one successful?  If so I would love a response.
> Rissa